Favorite Celia Hodes Quotes
Celia: That was humiliating.
Rudolfo: I know. I'm sorry, I could not untie you.
Celia: You're supposed to wipe front to back
What about you? You ever take a trip down to girlie town?
Silas: I love her.
Celia: You stuck your penis in her. That's not love, believe me.
Nancy: I don't give a flying f**k if you do have cancer. Put your tits away in front of my kid.
Celia: Sorry. I took a lude.
Celia: I was thinking of going bigger.
Nancy: Bigger?
Celia: Really big. Like freak show big. 47 triple Fs. So large that other smaller breasts will want to orbit them.
Maggie: Look who's here everyone! It's Celia.
Celia: Down, Maggie. I have cancer. I'm not retarded.
I haven't a s**t in three days. I'm like an African famine baby.
You know, I read somewhere that killing small animals is the first sign of psychotic behavior. You should really tell the parents, they can rush that little sociopath into therapy before he starts tooling around Agrestic in a white van with blacked out windows.
Celia: I'm sick of men. Maybe I missed my calling. I mean, what if I was supposed to be a dyke, but just made a wrong turn by mistake. It would explain a hell of a lot. Here's the thing, I really wanna f**k around on Dean, but the thought of having to put one more c**k in my mouth is just too depressing.
Nancy: I'm not sure a vagina would be any kind of improvement for you.
Celia: Maybe you're right. The truth is, p***y really skeeves me out. That whole mirror investigation thing we did when we were young, truly a rude awakening.
[holds up a flyer] Here. I'm posting these in the neighborhood. I tell you, I have a good mind to stay in a hotel until they catch that cougar. Though a part of me is hoping it will maul Dean, and I wouldn't want to miss that.
Celia: You really should lock your front door.
Nancy: I do lock it. But Lupita leaves it open so she doesn't have to dig for her keys. Drives me insane.
Celia: Subtle revenge for having to clean our toilets.
Nancy: I still say we got the better end of that deal.
Tennis Pro: We need to go somewhere where we can get very, very drunk.
Celia: I'm a mean drunk. Let's go.
