Chandler Bing Quotes
Rachel: So what happens next?
Joey: Well, I get the medical award for separating the Siamese twins, then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half brother "Ramon" and that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big, but it's cursed.
Chandler: God, that is good TV!
- Permalink: So what happens next? Well, I get the medical award for separa...
Tilly: I'm Tilly.
Tilly: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
Chandler: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
- Permalink: I'm Tilly. Oh. I gather by that oh that he told you about me...
(About Baywatch) See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine, run like the wind.
- Permalink: See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them ...
Phoebe: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered.
Chandler: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.
- Permalink: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna be...
Joey: Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine? Huh?
Chandler: Well I like both eggs equally.
Joey: Oh come on! Nobody like two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better then the other and I wanna know which.
Chandler: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore are they? You took your eggs and you left! Did you really expect me never to find new eggs?
- Permalink: Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine? Huh? Well I like b...
(About Baywatch) Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people... and the running.
- Permalink: Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people... and the r...
Chandler: Well you know, we got to talking and, uh, he said he needed a place and I had a spare room.
Joey: Oh, now it's a spare room?
Chandler: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
- Permalink: Well you know, we got to talking and, uh, he said he needed a pl...
Joey: I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
Chandler: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, okay? I can afford to live here by myself. You know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
- Permalink: I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a p...
Chandler: (About Joey finishing his cereal, licking his spoon, and putting it back in the silverware drawer) The spoon. You licked and, and you put. You licked and you put!
Joey: Yeah, so.
Chandler: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. (Joey looks sheepish) You used my toothbrush?
Joey: Well, that was only because I used the red one to unclog the drain.
Chandler: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
Joey: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?
Chandler: Because soap is soap. It's self-cleaning.
Joey: All right, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
- Permalink: The spoon. You licked and, and you put. You licked and you put! ...
Chandler: Richard's going to the party too, huh?
Monica: He's my parents' best friend. He has to be there.
Joey: So, is today the day you gonna tell them about you two?
Monica: Yeah, for my Dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
- Permalink: Richard's going to the party too, huh? He's my parents' best ...
Joey: Man, this is weird. Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Chandler: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last forty years.
- Permalink: Man, this is weird. Ever realize Cap'n Crunch's eyebrows are act...
Joey: I don't wanna leave you high and dry.
Chandler: Hey, I've never been lower or wetter.
- Permalink: I don't wanna leave you high and dry. Hey, I've never been low...
Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!
- Permalink: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me. What? No way, I've be...
- Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Monica: Hey, Joey! What would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself.
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, I got no reason to live.
Ross: Uh Joey... omnipotent.
Joey: You are? I'm so sorry. (To Chandler) I didn't know, I thought it was one of those theoretical questions.
- Permalink: Hey, Joey! What would you do if you were omnipotent? Probably...
- Rating: 4.2 / 5.0