Chandler Bing Quotes
Chandler: No, Stephen Hurs was the kid who would eat anything for money, David Stein was the guy who had no elbows.
Susie: Okay, well then who was the kid that got caught masturbating?
Chandler: (Defending himself) Okay, that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.
Susie: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
Chandler: Because I went to an all-boys high school and God is making up for it?
Chandler: All right, one of you guys give me your underwear.
Ross: Oh, no.
Joey: Can't help you there. I'm not wearing any.
Chandler: How can you not be wearing any underwear?
Joey: Oh, I'm taking heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
Susie: (About wearing her panties) How you doing there squirmy?
Chandler: I'm hanging in... and a little out.
(Joey grabs a frying pan) Yes. Hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
Ross: This is so exciting. I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
Chandler: What? You never look down in the shower?
Joey: (Excited) Oh, my God. I got my very own stalker.
Chandler: You are so lucky. I have to share mine with a bunch of guys down at work.
Rachel: Joey remember when we talked about good thing/bad thing? This is a bad thing.
Ross: I'm gonna go visit Marcel at the zoo and surprise him.
Chandler: You know what? I think he will be surprised until he realizes he's a monkey and, you know, not capable of that emotion.
Joey: Hey, what do you want to do for dinner?
Chandler: Well we could just stay in and cook for ourselves. (Both laugh hysterically)
Ross: (About Marcel) Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
Chandler: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat... all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
Joey: We'll just leave and when we pass her on the stairs she won't know it's me because we never met.
Chandler: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
Joey: (To Erika) I'm not Drake.
Ross: That's right, he's not Drake. He's Hans Ramoray, Drake's evil twin.
Erika: Is this true?
Rachel: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me.
(Throws water in Joey's face)
Monica: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't.
(Throws water in Joey's face)
Chandler: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard!
(Throws water in Joey's face)
