Chandler Bing Quotes
Chandler: Hey, you know what? Maybe we should get going. I mean what time did Chloe say we should be there?
Joey: Uh, 10:30.
Chandler: What time is it now?
Joey: 4:30.
Chandler: Yeah all right, so we'll hang out.
Monica: My milk's gone bad.
Chandler: I hate that. I once had a thing of half-and-half, stole my car.
Chandler: Just had me a little nubbinectomy. Yep! Two nipples, no waiting.
Monica: Wow. Just like Rachel in High School.
Rachel: What?
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Chandler: That was an obvious joke; and I didn't think of it. Why didn't I think of it? The source of all my powers! Oh dear God, what have I done!
Joey: Amy just burned Jo's manuscript. I don't see how he could ever forgive her!
Ross: Uh, Jo's a girl, it's short for Josephine.
Joey: But Jo's got a crush on Laurie. Oh, you mean it's like a a girl-girl thing? Cause that's the one thing missing from The Shining!
Chandler: No actually Laurie's a boy.
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times!
Chandler: Isn't a little cold for you to be wearing shorts?
Robert: Well, I'm from California.
Chandler: Right, sometimes you guys just burst into flame.
Rachel: (About Richard) Monica, what are you doing?
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now she's celebrating that by going on a date with him.
Joey: All blank and no blank makes blank a blank blank. Oh, and the end, when Jack almost kills them all with that blank but in the last second they get away!
Rachel: Joey! I can't believe you just did that!
Chandler: I can't believe she cracked your code.
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him! And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, he's really good looking. What am I gonna do?
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! Don't cry out loud.
Rachel: (To Ross) You have a play date with a stripper?!
Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid.
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich. Why don't you guys get a magician?
Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his butt cheeks, then all right.
Joey: Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Chandler: I want to say you, but that seems like such an easy answer.
Chandler: (Coming off the phone) Okay! We have our stripper, a Miss Crystal Chandelier!
Joey: Well sure, if you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
