Chandler Bing Quotes
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me, little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
Monica: You broke a little girl's leg?
Ross: I know, I feel horrible, okay.
Chandler: Says here a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around tenish?
Rachel: Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee. There you go. (Hands the cup to Chandler) Enjoy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Ross: No.
Rachel: Ah that's funny! You're a funny guy Chandler! And you know what else is really funny?
Chandler: (Hesitantly) Something else I might have said?
Rachel: I'm training to be better at a job that I hate. My life officially sucks.
Joey: Look Rach, wasn't this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Rachel: Well, yeah! I'm still pursuing that.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Ya know, other than sending out resumes like, what, two years ago?
Rachel: Well, I'm also sending out.... good thoughts.
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, you've got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Rachel: The fear?
Chandler: He's right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Rachel: Well then how come you're still at a job that you hate, I mean why don't you quit and get "the fear?"
(Chandler and Joey both start laughing)
Chandler: Because, I'm too afraid.
Phoebe: I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Joey: Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Phoebe: Really?
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, it's their only chance to see New York.
Phoebe: You saved them! You guys! Oh God, you're the best!
Chandler: It's like "Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees."
Rachel: There was a Geller Cup?
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our dad said nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting. So he took the trophy... (Ross pauses) threw it in the lake.
Chandler: Was the curse lifted?
Joey: Come on man, you have not done anything since you and her broke up.
Chandler: Thats not true. I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don't say I don't have goals.
Well, wait a minute though. How are we going to get there, because my mom won't let me cross the street?
(Ross and Monica are struggling for the ball after they realized the game is still on) Guys! Guys! Come on! It's Thanksgiving, it's not important who wins or loses. The important thing is,(To Joey) the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!
You hear that! That is her truth, Mr. I'll-let-you-have-her! I win, you suck, I rule all, mini-wave in celebration of me!
