Chandler Bing Quotes
Monica: Get ready for me to whip your butt!
Chandler: Okay, but after that, we're shootin' some pool!
Joey: Don't worry, I'm totally okay with the gay thing.
Chandler: What gay thing?
Joey: Uh, just... you know, the whole people being gay... thing... totally cool with it.
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get 'ya?
Chandler: No, you didn't get me! It's an electric drill! You get me, you kill me!
Joey: You know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail?
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
Chandler: You're building a post office?
You know what it's my fault really because the couch is normally where we keep the varnish.
Chandler: Okay. On three. One. Two.
Joey: Why don't we just go on two.
Chandler: Why two?
Joey: Because it's faster.
Chandler: You know, I could've counted to three like four times without all this two talk.
Joey: All right but in the future ...
Ross: Okay, okay, heavy thing not getting any lighter
Chandler: Okay. One. Two.
Joey: So we are going on two?
(To Joey, about the lumber in their apartment) So, what happened? Did a forest tick you off?
Ross: (About his list) Isabella Rossellini.
Chandler: Ooh hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But, ah, ya know she's too international. Ya know she's never gonna be around.
Rachel: So?
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody who's gonna be in the country like all the time.
Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's why you won't get Isabella Rossellini... geography.
Chandler: (About the entertainment center being too large) A good job, Joe.
Joey: Wow. It's big.
Chandler: Yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller.
Joey: Maybe my ruler's wrong.
Phoebe: Maybe all the rulers are wrong.
Ross: (Imitating Joey's infomercial) Are you intrigued?
Chandler: You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!
Chandler: So I catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
Monica: That is never good.
Chandler: Then I got all needy and clingy.
Monica: You didn't beg, did you?
Chandler: I said please.
Monica: Well, was it please with one E in the middle of it or lots of E's?
Chandler: Oh, dear lord, I begged.
Janice: Okay, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet, or you're pretending to be seeing somebody, which is so pathetic I could just start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So which of these two guys do you wanna be?
Chandler: (Pointing to another shopper) Could I be that guy?
