It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXCharlie Kelly Quotes
Mac: Instead of doing a My Two Dads kind of thing, we'll do a Three Men and a Baby type of thing!
Charlie: Both equally effective movies.
Dennis: That's all our money!
Charlie: No, it's all my money. You lost your money when you said no to the trucker.
This is for the rats!
If animals have taught me anything, it's that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road.
Dennis: Do you have any money?
Charlie: Yeah, it's all right there. I put it all on black.
Charlie: Are you wearing makeup?
Dennis: I'm always wearing a little bit of foundation but that's not the point.
Dennis: We also have the bird with teeth.
Charlie: Wow, okay. And I'm assuming the teeth are fake, yes?
Dennis: Yes. Well they're not really human teeth if that's what you're asking
Charlie: No, I mean did you discover a bird with teeth in this fashion?
Dennis: That does not exist in nature.
Charlie: Okay, I'm not sure, but either way, good glue work.
Charlie: what is your spaghetti policy?
Dee: Are you hearing this? He doesn't belong in a place like this.
They're third dimension glasses. I don't really think they're working because I'm still seeing things in whatever dimension we live.
Charlie: What's 3D even stand for?
Dee: Third dimension.
Charlie: What dimension are we in?
Charlie: Dee, if I go to a movie or a spaghetti place with you, out there I'm the rat.
Dee: What if I guarantee no one out there will put you into a bag and bash you against a telephone pole? Would that comfort you at all?
Charlie: No, that's a guarantee you can't make, Dee.
Dee: You've been really stressed so I thought I'd take you to a spa day. Just the two of us.
Charlie: A what day?
Dee: Spa day
Charlie: What is this word, spa? I feel like you're starting to a say a word and you're not finishing it. Spaghetti? Are you taking me to a spaghetti day?
