Favorite Charlotte York Goldenblatt Quotes
Charlotte: Oh, my God! Vagina Weights.
Samantha: Honey, my vagina waits for no man.
Charlotte: How can you not know anything about him? You slept with him?
Samantha: I fucked him. He made me come six times, that's good enough for me.
(the girls are jogging in the park)
Charlotte: Cute, who's that?
Miranda: An Ophthalmologist I once faked orgasms with.
Carrie: Ok, we're officially stopping.
Miranda: I only slept with him twice. The first time I faked it because it was never going to happen, and the second time I had to fake it because I faked it the first time.
Charlotte: There was so much skin. It was like a shar pei.
Carrie: You've never seen an uncircumcised one?
Charlotte: I'm from Connecticut.
Samantha is crying
Carrie: What's going on, why are you crying?
Samantha: James has a small dick.
Carrie: Well, it's not the end of the world.
Samantha: It's really small.
Miranda: How small?
Samantha: Too small.
Carrie: Well, size isn't everything....
Samantha: Three inches.....
Carrie: Well....
Samantha: Hard!
Charlotte: Is he a good kisser?
Samantha: Oh, who the fuck cares! His dick is like a gherkin!
Charlotte: If I end up old and alone its all your fault.
Samantha: Charlotte, sweetie, we're all alone even when we're with men.
Miranda: He goes to church with his mother? That can't be good.
Charlotte: Oh don't listen to her. A man who cares about his mother makes a wonderful husband.
Carrie: I think it's sweet.
Miranda: Sure, all religions are sweet, till you get to that shower-after-sex phase.
Charlotte: Oh my God! Is he still doing that?
Miranda: Please, it's amazing he has any skin left.
Carrie: Well, have you tried taking a shower with him?
Miranda: No! I'm afraid he'll pull out a garlic and a cross.
Charlotte: It's because women really just want to be rescued.
Carrie: (voiceover) There it was. The sentence independent single women in their thirties are never supposed to think, let alone say out loud.
Charlotte: I'm sorry but it's true. I've been dating since I was fifteen. I'm exhausted. Where is he?
Miranda: Who? The white knight?
Samantha: That only happens in fairy tales.
Charlotte: My hair hurts.
Charlotte: Maybe you should stop seeing him, race is a very big issue.
Samantha: No, there is no reason to bring race into this, Chivon is a sweet man, we have great sex and he happens to have the biggest....
Charlotte: Black cock, we know, he has a big black cock.
Samantha: I was about to say biggest heart, but now that you're so interested, yes, he does have a big black cock.
Miranda: It's a big Afro-American cock. Right, Charlotte?
Charlotte: Maybe, we could work on it, practice makes perfect.
Samantha: No, no, no, dump him, a bad kisser is non-negotiable.
(Before Carrie goes on her first offical date with Mr. Big, she's showing the girls what she's wearing)
Samantha: Hey honey, it's fabulous. Bravo!
Miranda: It's tits on toast, baby. But you make it work.
Charlotte: Well, let's just say it. It's the 'naked dress'. I mean, you're obviously going to have sex with him tonight.
Carrie: Come on, it's our first date.
Miranda: She's not gonna have sex. She's just gonna look like sex.
Carrie: That's right. I'm just the trailer.
Samantha: Please. If it happens, it happens. Bottoms up!
Charlotte: Wait a second, I thought you were serious about this guy, you can't sleep with him on the first date.
Samantha: Oh God!
Miranda: Here she goes again with 'The Rules.'
Samantha: The women who wrote that book they wrote it because they couldn't get laid, so they constructed this whole bullshit theory to make women who can get laid feel bad.
Charlotte: I've never done a number two at a guys place before.
Samantha: Honey, you're so uptight you need to do a number seven.
