Favorite Chris Taub Quotes
House: People act in their own self-interest. You're all here because you're happy to be here. Or at least because it's your best option.
Kutner: I'm here because I want to help people.
House: No, you're here because it makes you feel good to help people. Taub and Foreman are here because they've got no other viable options. And Thirteen is desperate to make her life matter before it's over.
Taub: So... you're happy to be here?
House: Does it show?
Taub: What do you think of this glitch with Chase and Cameron's wedding?
Thirteen: It's always a sad thing when sperm comes between people.
Thirteen: Your life happy about that?
Taub: She's happy to cut back on some things... like sex.
Dr. Wilson: Where's House?
Taub: Performing his ritual "Hiding from Cuddy to avoid getting a new case" dance. It's sort of a jazz-fusion sort of thing.
Taub: If I ask why we're in Wilson's office, is there any chance I'll get a straight answer?
House: Try it. Try it.
Taub: It's not porn.
House: Bummer.
Taub: What if we just snoop on our boss?
Foreman: I can live with that.
Foreman: You really wanna get inside his head?
Taub: Yeah, but I decided against stabbing myself in the leg and getting addicted to pain pills.
Foreman: We both have a lot of regrets.
Taub: You should be proud of yours. Your life is trending upwards.
Taub: It's not exactly sanitary.
House: The fun stuff never is.
Taub: Fighting's not brave. It's just stupid.
Dr. Chase: You would say that.
Taub: You think I've never been in a fight?
Dr. Chase: No, I just think you never won one.
Taub: I took on three guys in college once.
House: Hope they bought you dinner first.
Taub: So the only time you're interested in my marriage is when you can blow it up?
House: You're the moron who took marital advice from Tila Tequila.
