Favorite Chris Taub Quotes
[To Foreman] An affair? I never knew you were such a tramp.
Who cares if House was callous? Are you going to punish callousness?
House: Short man equals bullied child.
Taub: I was never bullied.
Dr. Adams: Until now.
Ohhhh. A metaphor. What you didn't foresee is that I actually do have a sex doll.
I'll tell you what would be weirder. If you didn't have a sex dream about Chase.
Sometimes the truth is that there's nothing any of us can do.
Taub: [In reference to House suggesting Taub get a paternity test] But they look just like me?
House: But they'll grow.
Emmy: When I got the surgery, I got healthy, and when I got healthy, I got happy.
Taub: I'm not sure you're happy, but if you are, being healthy didn't do it, being pretty did. Poop in the bedpan.
Taub: How come you haven't said anything about this?
Kutner: It's no big secret. I guess I'm just not very chatty.
Taub: You told us when you renewed your subscription to National Geographic.
Thirteen: Damn.
Lou: What?
Taub: She's happy you're going to be fine... but she'd be happier if you were going to be fine five minutes ago.
Taub: You've discovered that one of us has been hiding the ability to stretch or shrink themselves?
House: No. I would never out someone's superpowers.
Taub: House, call your mom.
House: What are you, my mom?
