Popular Chris Taub Quotes
Taub: Tonight after work, meet me at the basketball court in the gym.
Dr. Foreman: You do realize you're two and a half feet tall, right?
Taub: And white, and Jewish. It'd be very embarrassing. I get why you'd want to say no.
House: Why aren't you guys in my office?
Dr. Foreman: Why are you in the building? It's eight in the morning.
House: Where's Chase?
Taub: He's not here because it's eight in the morning.
Dr. Chase: Sorry I took off on you.
Dr. Foreman: Twice?
Dr. Chase: First one was my bad. Second one, I had no choice. It was a threesome.
Taub: They're overrated.
Foreman and Chase: (together) He's bluffing.
Taub: I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.
Dr. Foreman: Medicine's come a long way in the last hundred years.
Dr. Foreman: You're nothing but excuses and distractions.
Taub: Well, it's a nice match with your condescension and superiority.
Dr. Foreman: Are you wearing my tie?
Taub: I saw it in your closet, and it happened to match my shirt.
Dr. Foreman: Why were you in my closet?
Taub: Looking for a tie. What's the big deal?
House: Obviously he wants you out of the closet for some reason. I suspect marriage, but I'm liberal that way.
Taub: Can I at least search his house for drugs?
House: Have I ever said no to that question?
Taub: He's doggy padding in the sea of misery. I remember what that was like.
Foreman: Yeah? How far back did you go for that memory? Last night?
Dr. Chase: Why is it anyone's problem? I violently executed my tenth-grade geometry teacher about five different ways in my mind.
Masters: I didn't want to kill anybody. I just wanted to torture them slowly in my basement, preferably with acid. You guys ever think about what you might do to House?
Taub: Maybe it's no big deal.
Dr. Chase: Unless it is. Someone shot House.
House: I don't think his real name is Ferris Bueller.
Martha: Why? Seriously. Who is that?
Taub: They say he's a righteous dude.
Foreman: You just said you weren't even going.
Taub: I still have feelings.
Foreman: I don't know how you did it man. Was it the cute, harmless vibe, the self-deprecating humor, or just straight up vibes?
Taub: If you're interested, I do seminars.
