House: Doctor says it's okay as long as I don't leave my hospital bed.
Taub: Which doctor was that, Seuss or Jay?

Foreman: You think I'm repressed too?
Taub: I think you're in danger of being dissolved by your own stomach acids.

You're lucky you're hot and smart because, well, you're just lucky you're hot and smart.

Taub: You know there's something seriously wrong with us.
Taub's wife: I know.

Foreman: If I own it, I don't want you doing it on it.
Taub: You might want to get rid of your kitchen table.

You save earwax.

Taub (to the patient)

He's hoarding books on hoarding.

Foreman: I don't know how you did it man. Was it the cute, harmless vibe, the self-deprecating humor, or just straight up vibes?
Taub: If you're interested, I do seminars.

Foreman: You just said you weren't even going.
Taub: I still have feelings.

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