Taub: You know there's something seriously wrong with us.
Taub's wife: I know.

Foreman: If I own it, I don't want you doing it on it.
Taub: You might want to get rid of your kitchen table.

You save earwax.

Taub (to the patient)

He's hoarding books on hoarding.

Foreman: I don't know how you did it man. Was it the cute, harmless vibe, the self-deprecating humor, or just straight up vibes?
Taub: If you're interested, I do seminars.

Foreman: You just said you weren't even going.
Taub: I still have feelings.

House: I don't think his real name is Ferris Bueller.
Martha: Why? Seriously. Who is that?
Taub: They say he's a righteous dude.

Dr. Chase: Why is it anyone's problem? I violently executed my tenth-grade geometry teacher about five different ways in my mind.
Masters: I didn't want to kill anybody. I just wanted to torture them slowly in my basement, preferably with acid. You guys ever think about what you might do to House?
Taub: Maybe it's no big deal.
Dr. Chase: Unless it is. Someone shot House.

Taub: He's doggy padding in the sea of misery. I remember what that was like.
Foreman: Yeah? How far back did you go for that memory? Last night?

Taub: Can I at least search his house for drugs?
House: Have I ever said no to that question?

Dr. Foreman: Are you wearing my tie?
Taub: I saw it in your closet, and it happened to match my shirt.
Dr. Foreman: Why were you in my closet?
Taub: Looking for a tie. What's the big deal?
House: Obviously he wants you out of the closet for some reason. I suspect marriage, but I'm liberal that way.

Dr. Foreman: You're nothing but excuses and distractions.
Taub: Well, it's a nice match with your condescension and superiority.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 64 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

You're an ass!

Dr. Adams
× Close Ad