I'm 5'6" and have a receding hairline. I hate genetics.

Taub: So the only time you're interested in my marriage is when you can blow it up?
House: You're the moron who took marital advice from Tila Tequila.

Functional open marriage is like a unicorn. It's a mythical creature that doesn't exist. Someone always ends up unhappy.

Taub: Fighting's not brave. It's just stupid.
Dr. Chase: You would say that.
Taub: You think I've never been in a fight?
Dr. Chase: No, I just think you never won one.
Taub: I took on three guys in college once.
House: Hope they bought you dinner first.

Thirteen: Pig order with a side order of sphincter.
Taub: I think they call that breakfast in Australia.

Taub: It's not exactly sanitary.
House: The fun stuff never is.

Foreman: We both have a lot of regrets.
Taub: You should be proud of yours. Your life is trending upwards.

Foreman: You really wanna get inside his head?
Taub: Yeah, but I decided against stabbing myself in the leg and getting addicted to pain pills.

Taub: What if we just snoop on our boss?
Foreman: I can live with that.

Taub: It's not porn.
House: Bummer.

Taub: If I ask why we're in Wilson's office, is there any chance I'll get a straight answer?
House: Try it. Try it.

Dr. Wilson: Where's House?
Taub: Performing his ritual "Hiding from Cuddy to avoid getting a new case" dance. It's sort of a jazz-fusion sort of thing.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 64 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

I killed a man.

Thirteen
×