Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Honey, look at how long it just took us to figure out she's insulting us.

It's an obsessive-compulsive thing. I have read like a hundred articles about it.

She suggested an Arabian Nights theme. Isn't it a little soon?

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.

Luke: Dad's like crazy fun, but you're nice.
Claire: I'm nice?!?
Luke: Well, not now.

Claire: Did you make the ladyfingers? Did you go to the gym?
Phil: Boy, you're really starting to sound like your old self.

Claire: You're in a house of horrors being held against your will.
Alex: Yeah, I know, so why do I need the cage.

Honey, trust me, I'm sparing you an entire day of guys asking you if you have a rough tongue.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I have almost no faith in you.

Displaying quotes 109 - 117 of 160 in total