Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Claire: We're gonna pass into legend. The parents who canceled Christmas.
Phil: I thought you'd be happy.
Claire: They'll write songs about us. They'll make a Christmas special with those ugly little clay pieces.

Claire [to kids]: Which one of you was smoking?
Phil: Not me, I have a respiratory problem.
Claire: Obviously, not you.

Phil [about Luke]: He's one of those kids you get him a gift and all he wants to do is play with the box.
Claire: One year we just got him a box, a really nice box
Phil: And we made the mistake of putting it in a gift bag.
Claire: So he played with the gift bag.
Phil: We can't get it right.

Phil loves Spandau Ballet. That song "True" was playing in the car the first time we kissed. It's our song.

I'm fairly confident that Dad's proudest moment was when you finally took off the flame-red unitard

Phil [about Luke]: I'm telling you that kid is a genius, there's a rainmaker
Claire: Why is your iPod in your mouth?
Luke: I'm charging it
Claire: Alex. Alex!

Mitchell: You had your own moments. You had cheerleading, and high school plays, and making out with the quarterback...
Claire: Oh come on, you made out with him, too.
Mitchell: Yeah, but we had to keep it a secret.

Luke already is the best at something. Being my son ... That sounded a lot less lame in my head.

Claire: Getting everybody out of the house in the morning can be really tough. Especially the first day of school.
Phil: From the moment we get up at seven until we drop them off at school it is: go go go.
Claire: I get up at six.
Phil [mocking]: I get up at five.
Claire: Seriously, I get up at six.
Phil: That's you? I thought we had a racoon

Claire: Phil, let it go, I'm faster than you
Phil: If only there was some way we could settle this once and for all, but how?
Claire: You seriously want to race me? I ran a half-marathon last year
Phil: Okay, I'm half scared
Claire: Okay, we do need to do this. I'll go change

Haley: Hey mom?
Claire: Yeah?
Haley: Can I have forty dollars for lunch?
Claire: Forty dollars?
Haley: I also need a book for school.
Claire: A book?
Haley: I want a dress.
Claire: Do you have any idea what a bad liar you are?
Alex: I'd be more worried that she couldn't come up with a single book title

Phil: Well, there's book smart and then there's street smart.
Claire: Yeah, and then there's Luke.
Phil: Oh, he's just, he's just curious, that's all. He's got this, almost, scientific mind with a thirst for knowledge. He's like this little Einstein. Some people ask "Why?" Luke asks, "Why not?"
Claire: I ask why a lot

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 168 in total
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