The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Comic Book Guy Quotes
The closest thing I have to a father is the Obi-Wan doll in my store, and he comes from a race of celibate knights so...
Nerds don't get girls!
Burns: How much for your entire collection?
Comic Book Guy: Um, the speed of light expressed in dollars.
Burns (to Smithers): Just give him Faraday's constant.
Worst climbing Everest.
Comic Book Guy: You are acceptable!
Homer: Great, would you like to see me naked?
Studio Exec: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie
Homer: What movie?
Okay, but don't read our subtitles.
CIA Guy
Kent Brockman: Yeah, I know I'm on...but I don't care! I don't read the news until I get my danish. Go ahead, try to find a replacement.
Bumblebee Guy: A powerful tidal wave in Kuala Lumpur has killed 120 people. Aye Chihuahua!
No groaning in my store.
I played hardball with hollywood, the closest i will ever come to playing a sport in my life
(Comic Book Guy bursts into Coolsville.)
Comic Book Guy: Attention, comic book aficionados! (Points at Milo) This man is not one of us. (Comic Book Guy points at Strawberry, crowd gasps.) He has a girlfriend!
Strawberry: My name is Strawberry. My purse is a lunch box.
(Comic Book Guy has just noticed a new comic store that has opened up across the street.)
Comic Book Guy: Philip K Dick! It can't be! It's as if Superman moved to Gotham City!
Martin: Which he did, in World's Finest Comics #94. (Points to the comic.) See?
Comic Book Guy: That was an imaginary story, dreamt by Jimmy Olsen after he was kicked in the head by Supergirl's horse, Comet. It never really happened.
Bart: None of these things ever really happened.
Comic Book Guy: Get out of my store.
I still wear your bra.
