Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX

I cannot hide the snide inside!

The closest thing I have to a father is the Obi-Wan doll in my store, and he comes from a race of celibate knights so...

Nerds don't get girls!

Burns: How much for your entire collection?
Comic Book Guy: Um, the speed of light expressed in dollars.
Burns (to Smithers): Just give him Faraday's constant.

Worst climbing Everest.

I still wear your bra.

My email address is edna172. It's the lowest number I could get.

Comic Book Guy: How do you know the bride?
Marge: I'm her sister, you?
Comic Book Guy: I bought her ping pong table off cragislist. Color yourself slighted.

Okay, but don't read our subtitles.

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