Sam: You like women.
Cooper: Yeah, and you know what? I'm living with one with no sexual benefits, I'm sleeping with one who's way too complicated, and the one place where there can just be men; there are women.

Pete: We've made a decision.
Violet: Together?
Sheldon: Paternity test.
Pete: Now, one of us gets out of your hair, the other one ... has a right to know.
Cooper: Look guys ...
Pete: Know what, Cooper? You moved in, you pushed us out, you claimed your territory, but one thing is clear. This kid you're talking to, is not your kid, so, stay out of it.
Violet: Look, Pete ...
Sheldon: The answer is right there for us to know.We know that you don't want to face it, but we do.

Cooper: Charlotte, you did a good thing. A thing that makes me love you even more.
Charlotte: I don't need you to love me even more! I slept with Archer. And you forgive me. You are good, you are the good one, you do good things. You and ... it makes me sick. You loving me, it makes me literally sick to my stomach. I slept with somebody else. I screwed Archer's brains out and you forgive it? Who does that? So you're the good one and I'm the bad one. And I don't want credit for saving a little girl's life, I don't want it.
Cooper: You need to forgive yourself.
Charlotte: Stop loving me. Just stop loving me.
Cooper: No, no. I will not stop loving you. No.
Charlotte: I'm sorry.

Cooper: Violet, you can't do a CVS paternity test for a few weeks. The point is mute.
Violet: Moot. The point is moot.

Charlotte: Move in with me, Cooper.
Cooper: Charlotte!
Charlotte: I know you care about Violet and the baby, and I understand why you wanted to move in with her. But you can still be there for both of them, without living at her place.
Cooper: Violet's afraid to be alone. So I need to be there for her.
Charlotte: I'm your girlfriend.
Cooper: And I am here for you. And, living with Violet? Doesn't change that.

Charlotte: I slept with Archer Montgomery. I just thought you shoulds know.
Cooper: No! No! You don't get to just walk away from me after telling me that. How dare you. How dare you do this.
Charlotte: It's just the way I am.
Cooper: Well that's crap. You did the one thing you could, to push me away, to make me make a choice and not you. Guess what, Charlotte? That's not gonna work. I'm not going anywhere. You want to sleep with some guy to hurt me? Make me back off? Too bad. I'm here. I'm storming the freaking castle for you and you so underestimated me. What, you thought I was so weak that I'm going to walk away because my pride got wounded? You're mine and I'm not walking away because you're scared.

Cooper: If you got to know Violet a little better ...
Charlotte: I'd rather have teeth pulled.
Cooper: She's my best friend, Charlotte. If she were a guy, wouldn't you make an effort to get to know my best friend?
Charlotte: If she were a guy, she'd be on Twenty Twenty for getting pregnant.

Cooper: Look, I know you're upset about me living with Violet. I know you feel excluded, but it doesn't have to be like that. You could be part of it.
Charlotte: Part of it, Cooper? Really? What exactly do you think that would look like? Me living with the two of you, reading Mother Goose to Violet's swollen belly while you're giving her pregnancy massages? Or how about me putting on my Bo Peep outfit, trying to seduce you while she's calling out from the next room for a puke bucket? Or, better yet, me taking video of you and Violet bringing your little snot home?
Cooper: It's not my little snot and I'm not trying to be the father.

Charlotte: I get what you're doing for Violet.
Cooper: Please tell me you're not changing your mind.
Charlotte: I get that she's your best friend, but there comes a point when you can't have a woman be your best friend because there's a more important woman in your life. Or should be. But you and Violet, it's intimate. And she needs you. And, I think, at the end of the day, you need her. I'm outside of it. It's your thing. Your thing with Violet. And you want me to be a part of it, but I don't have it in me to make it work that way. I'm supposed to be your best friend, Cooper.

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