Favorite Creed Bratton Quotes
Angela: Hello, everyone. Oh, ice cream. Nice, Kevin. Looks good.
Kevin: It... yeah.
Oscar: Angela, you're more chipper than usual.
Angela: I am proud to announce that there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic. She doesn't struggle when you try to dress her. She's a third-generation show cat. Her father was in 'Meet the Parents.' Needless to say, she was very, very expensive.
Meredith: How much?
Angela: Seven thousand dollars.
Creed: For a cat? I could get you a kid for that.
He's been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. Now it's funny stuff, but mean.
[to the kids] You ever seen a foot with four toes?
Oscar: Hey, Pam I've been meaning to say something to you. I really miss our friendship.
Pam: Wow, very funny.
Stanley: I've never heard you talk that much. I thought it was Kelly.
Kelly: Are you kidding? I would have never done that. It was pathetic-ville. No offense, Pam.
Meredith: You know what? Don't even worry about it. Everyone was so drunk, I bet no one even remembers what you said.
Creed: I remember. I blogged the whole thing.
Jim: Could you guys all do me a favor and not talk about this until I tell Pam?
Andy: Whoa, you haven't told the misses about the castle? You're in for a spanking my friend. Myself and my lady? - no secrets.
Phyllis: Jim, don't listen to Andy. I think it's so romantic.
Jim: Oh thanks, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Where's your place?
Jim: Oh, it's on uh Linden Ave? By the quarry?
Phyllis: Oh.
Creed: Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.
Jim: Definitely we should.
Creed: Boss, this used to hang from my windshield but it belongs in here.
Michael: Hey, thank you, Creed. you're really getting this place.
Creed: No problem. I'll just have no idea who's driving behind me now.
Toby: Creed is eating an apple. I found a potato.
Pam: Hey Creed.
Creed: Hey!
Pam: Hey.
Creed: Hello. [Jim replaces Creed's apple with a potato, Creed takes a bite of the potato]
Pam: Yes!
Kevin: Here you go. [hands money]
Toby: Nice.
Creed: [playing chess] No. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do this, I'm gonna do that.
Jim: Well, what if I just do this?
Creed: You don't want to do that.
Meredith: I really want to come out!
Creed: Good night, Mary Beth!
Creed: Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton.
Oscar: [to Creed, dressed as the Joker] Whoa! Awesome.
Creed: Let's put a smile on that face!
Kevin: [also dressed as the Joker] Dammit Creed! I've been up since four!
Creed: We're screwed.
Michael: Who is?
Creed: Us? You and me. The old timers.
Michael: I am not old. You are old. You are like a hundred.
Creed: You're over 40, that's the cut off. Are you listening to what he's saying? Re-training. New system. Youth. I'm telling you this kid is the grim reaper. You deal with this or you, me, Sammy, Phyllis, the chick you hit with the car, we're goners.
