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Parenthood

Jabbar: I thought babies were supposed to be fun.
Crosby: Yeah, they're not.

Crosby: Hey! Jules! You better get inside or you're gonna get screwed! You gotta get your sign-up sheet!
Julia: I know!

I don't know if she's bi-racial, honey. I think she's bi-species. She's half worm, half human.

I'm sure you're going to be the best thing that ever happened to me someday, but right now I really hate you.

Are you having an afternoon delight with Strawberry Shortcake? You need to warn me about that.

Crosby: You're judging. You're busy judging in a subdued, calculating manner.
Renee: In a subdued, calculated manner.
Crosby: See? Even slower. Great.

That's great honey. I really hope she feels like she's on a cruise ship so she doesn't want to leave.

Look. I love your mom. I do. But she cannot move in with us! she's going to take over. She's going to have prayer circles and crucifixes everywhere...

These were 'butter me up' pancakes, weren't they?

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