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Jabbar: I thought babies were supposed to be fun.
Crosby: Yeah, they're not.

Crosby: Hey! Jules! You better get inside or you're gonna get screwed! You gotta get your sign-up sheet!
Julia: I know!

I don't know if she's bi-racial, honey. I think she's bi-species. She's half worm, half human.

I'm sure you're going to be the best thing that ever happened to me someday, but right now I really hate you.

Are you having an afternoon delight with Strawberry Shortcake? You need to warn me about that.

Crosby: You're judging. You're busy judging in a subdued, calculating manner.
Renee: In a subdued, calculated manner.
Crosby: See? Even slower. Great.

That's great honey. I really hope she feels like she's on a cruise ship so she doesn't want to leave.

Look. I love your mom. I do. But she cannot move in with us! she's going to take over. She's going to have prayer circles and crucifixes everywhere...

These were 'butter me up' pancakes, weren't they?

Displaying quotes 19 - 27 of 97 in total