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Parenthood

Crosby: Look, I know you didn't want a full house. I'm sorry I'm early, but I love Kristina, too, so I will hang out in the cafeteria or whatever, but I'm not leaving the hospital. I can get you some barbecue potato chips or come tea or something.
Adam: Tea.

Crosby: What can I do to alleviate some of this stress for ya?
Adam: Don't ever touch me again. Let's start with that.

Crosby: Fifteen minutes? We could make twins in 15 minutes.
Jasmine: That doesn't turn me on.

Adam: Who pulls crap like that?
Crosby: Musicians.
Adam: Musicians?
Crosby: Yeah, even ones like Kenny G, ones you wouldn't expect.

Zeek: Ah, hey chief. We gave ya baseball.
Crosby: Thanks for that.

Yeah, well you weren't being very best manly so I replaced you for the job.

And that hair doesn't camp!

Look, if I'm so good at basketball, then why do I always get picked last?

Max

He's on an erectile dysfunction commercial. I don't think he can claim privacy as his number one priority any more.

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