It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Thursdays 10:00 PM on FX
Its always sunny in philadelphia
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Dennis: I'm jumping in the pool!
Frank: Plus, I'm gonna piss in it!

I have a proposition too. Why don't you walk in front of me so I don't get your blood all over my feet?

Dennis: Where'd you get that towel? I don't see any attendants around.
Frank: I borrowed it fringe style from that guy over there. I gave him a bite of my hot dog, he's letting me use his towel.

Dennis: You're born into class. It's about pedigree. It's about upbringing. It has nothing to do with your present circumstance.
Dee: See, Dennis and I were born upper class. Therefore, we currently are and will forever remain upper class. Frank, stop picking your teeth for one second and back us up here.

These guys are more barnacle covered and sunburnt than Dee and Frank.

Charlie: We'll scrape all these delicious oysters or whatever off the side of the pot and we'll put them in a pot and boil them before you get back.
Frank: We'll cook them for you.
Dennis: Those are barnacles. Do not eat those. Do not cook them in a pot and serve them to us.

Work first. And then you can do your weird inflatable tube man P. Diddy dance.

We've had our hearts sets on this boat for days now. Which, in our world, is a level of focus which I've personally never experienced.

Frank: We'll get that idiot lawyer that always helps us out. He does good by us.
Mac: Yes, he's excellent but he slapped a restrainer order on us so we can't use him. [To Dennis]: Also you need a lawyer, too.
Dennis: I need a lawyer?
Mac: How are you not grasping this concept?
Dennis: Oh... for the divorce.

Mac: Maybe I should go to my room.
Maureen: That is not your room anymore. It's my craft studio, so kindly stay out of there.
Mac: What!?
Dennis: Don't freak out, dude. She turned it it into a terrible craft studio where she makes terrible sweatshirts out of cats. Or puts cats in sweatshirts.

All this talking about marriage and Dee being a whore got me thinking... I didn't have a bachelor party!

Dennis: There's cab fare on the night stand.
Maureen: That's the third morning in a row you did that. We're married, silly, I'm home already.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 168 in total

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?


Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so i was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.
Principal: And you're looking for a job as a substitute teacher?
Charlie: Substitute janitor.