There are far worse people at the Jersey shore than the cast of the Jersey Shore!

Dee: I hate this town, Dennis, I hate this town.
Dennis: It's understandable. You are missing a piece of your scalp.

Somebody needs to take care of Mac...because the man is carrying around trash bags filled with Mexican foods.

Dee: What if we took a "Pretty Woman" and threw it Roxy's way?
Frank: It was a bullsh*t movie. People don't change like that.
Mac: People change, Frank. Look at me. I went from a tiny twink to the muscle bound freak you see before you.
Dee: You're not helping my argument.
Dennis: Okay, yea. And if you're going to chime in please don't do it with a mouth full of burrito.
Mac: This is a chimichanga.
Dennis You are becoming a chimichanga!

I'm getting really concerned by the integrity of our organization. We're becoming the gross crew and I don't like that.

If you think Jesus and the lord are so great, why don't have you have them swing by in their Lamborghinis and drive you home?

Dee: People are starting to notice.
Dennis: Of course they're starting to notice! There's a grown man crammed into a coach.

Frank: You have to earn what you get. This principle made me a multi-millionaire.
Dee: No. No. Stealing millions of dollars from your ex-business partner is what made you a millionaire, Frank.
Frank: Eugene Hamilton was a great man! Do not speak ill of the dead.
Dennis: She's speaking ill of you!

Frank didn't buy shitty presents. Frank bought the most awesome presents in the entire world. As a matter of fact, he would find out what Christmas presents we wanted that year and he'd buy it for himself, instead of buying them for us.

[The baby] ruined my transmission, it ruined a perfectly good sewer conversation, I still want to get to the bottom of that one...

Without the sunglasses, Weekend at Bernie's would have been a very dark, strange tale.

God, what an irritating thing babies are!

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Charlie: I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put them in their place.
Mac: How you gonna do that?
Charlie: Well, you've seen the movie right?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: So all I gotta do is, I'll ask them some big shot, like math or science, history-type college question aand that will totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac: In that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor, you're just a janitor.
Charlie: Right, you stumped me with that one.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.