Doug Murphy Quotes
Elliot: Sorry I'm late.
Todd: Hey, Elliot. Is it greasy outside?
J.D.: Oh, that is so stupid. Elliot, you look... smart.
Dr. Cox: Hello?
Elliot: Of course I'm smart - I'm a doctor!
Doug: "What's up, doc?" I just got it!
J.D.: Maybe that's why Danni wants to break up with me, she thinks I'm too smart!
Todd: You're dating a guy named Danny? Is he hot?
Doug: Hey, Dr. Kelso, none of my patients have died today.
Dr. Kelso: Really? Mr. Ferguson's corpse begs to differ.
Doug: Darn it!
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Murphy, how about you start us off by describing the medical condition of your patient Mr. Eronson here.
Doug: He's got hypertrophic cardiomyopathy with severe secondary pulmonary hypertension.
Dr. Kelso: Wrong. He's dead. Another one bites the dust, huh, sport?
J.D.: Oh, are we allowed to do this now? What about that whole, like, hands on the hips, "Carla from the block" thing she does when she's mad - when she's like "Oh, Bambi, you do not want to mess me with right now."
Doug: You do sound like that.
Carla: Careful Doug, we are not that close yet.
J.D.: "Careful, Doug."
Elliot: That's what's up. Mm-mm. Mmm.
J.D.: "Doug, you better be careful, 'cause I'm Carla."
J.D.: I think the Janitor's pretending to be British.
Doug: You mean Klaus, the German guy?
Janitor: Guten Tag, Doug.
Doug: Thanks!
Janitor: That means "nice haircut."
J.D.: No it doesn't!
Janitor: Mind your own beeswax.
Doug: Hey Klaus, in your country, how come Hamburg and Frankfurt have nothing to do with hamburgers or hot dogs?
Janitor(German accent): Why is your Lake Titicaca not filled with boobs and poop?
Dr. Cox: So you're saying your mom made you pancakes this morning, and you didn't even know that it was pancake day in the cafeteria? You get outta here!
Doug: And the craziest thing -
Dr. Cox: No, I'm serious, Nervous Guy. Get outta here!
Dr. Kelso: And guess what, Dr. Cox knows it, too. Although damned if he doesn't disagree with me just because I said it.
J.D.: Sir, I don't think that's true.
Dr. Kelso: Perry! It's hotter than hell in here!
Dr. Cox: Freezing!
Dr. Kelso: Great coffee, though!
Dr. Cox: Rat piss!
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Murphy is an incompetent suck-up.
Dr. Cox: No, Bob. In fact, he's one of the finest young doctors I've ever had the good fortune of working with.
Dr. Kelso: Your witness.
J.D.: What are you doing?
Doug: I'm calling my dad!
Elliot: What'd I miss?
Dr. Kelso: It's come to my attention...
J.D.: Something's come to his attention.
Dr. Kelso: ...that some family members of our critically ill patients have been complaining because of the relatively small amount of time you all spend with their loved ones. 'Course, in Dr. Murphy's case that's probably a good thing.
Doug: Sir, if I could just take this chance to explain my disturbingly high mortality rate?
Dr. Kelso: Why don't I do that for you? You're a bad doctor.
Dr. Cox: Miss Bartow is thirty-six, she is septic, and she is in respiratory failure. Dr. Weiss, I want you to draw three sets of surveillance cultures. Mr. Murphy-
Doug: Dr. Murphy?
Dr. Cox: Eh... Just go ahead and get a steady BG. We are going to try to wean her off of the vent today, so I want all of you people to give her most of your attention.
J.D.: I say we listen to Dr. Cox, and do exactly what he says.
Dr. Cox: That's unbelievable.
Elliot: Oh, first I've gotta discharge Mr. Hale, then get a extropolenscopy on Mrs. Peterson, and then, to be perfectly frank, perform a thong extrication on Ms. Reid.
Doug: Hey, your last name is Reid!
Elliot: Doug. I have underwear in my butt.
Elliot: So, how are your interns doing?
Doug: Hey, yeah, it still burns a little, but at least I can hear okay.
