NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard Quotes
You and I know that life is a near-death experience.
Careful, Mr. Palmer. Gastric acid can cut a hole right through your foot.
Tony: What's with the sushi bar?
Ducky: Staff Sargeant Cryer's body was not alone on its considerable time adrift.
Tony: Yum.
Ducky: That's probably what they said when they were feeding on his flesh.
Gibbs: I'm on the other side now. I tried to catch Wescott, he wouldn't let me.
Ducky: No, you can't Gibbs, but you can call him.
If we focused less on our differences and more on learning from each other, perhaps that would mean the end of wars.
Sergei wants to hurt you. It's clear he blames you for something. Something that wounded him to the core. And now it's payback time. But killing you is inadequate. He wants to see you suffer. Which means that all bets are off on what might come next, or for whom he might come.
Ducky: I can still save your life.
Godfrey: Oh yeah?
Ducky: There is still time.
Godfrey: All mouth and no trousers, this one.
Ducky: You feeling light-headed? I just nicked your brachial artery. You'll be dead in less than ninety seconds.
Godfrey: Having trouble breathing.
Ducky: Yes, that would be your dying of hypo-bulimic shock. The sweating and chest pains are normal. Seventy seconds.
Godfrey: You have to do something.
Ducky: No I don't. But if you tell me why my best friend is dead, I'll consider it. Sixty seconds.
Godfrey: We were running a prostitution ring out of Angus' hotel.
Margaret: My husband would never let you do that.
Godfrey: He didn't have a choice. We told him if he ratted us out we'd kill you. He was a sneaky one.
Ducky: Angus found out that you were also running a smuggling ring in the U.S. He tried to get the evidence to me. He hoped that NCIS would take you down. That you'd go to jail and never know who sent you there. Angus would be free. But it didn't quite work out that way, did it?
Godfrey: We found his email to Colpepper. Couldn't let him talk. That's all I know. Fix my arm already.
Ducky: No. No that's not all you know. You said we were running a prostitution ring. You're just an errand boy, a go-fer. Put in place to keep an eye on Angus. So who's really in charge? Is it someone you're willing to die for? If so, you're welcome to be my guest.
Ducky: What happens when frogs park illegally?
Palmer: They get towed
Ducky: My mind has been scattered with grandfatherly worries.
Gibbs: Grandfather?
Ducky: Mr. Palmer has declared when the child is of speaking age, she will call me "Grand-Ducky".
Ducky: Forgive me, Mr. Palmer, but I can’t resist the urge to give you one of my all-time favorite pieces of advice: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
We've gone from Socrates to Snooki.
Ducky: Tony! Meet former medical examiner, and my esteemed predecessor, Dr Walter Magnus. Magnus is my guest.
Gibbs: Bringing guests to crime scenes now, are you, Duck?
Ducky: Yes, well, only ones that used to be me!
