Favorite Dr. Gregory House Quotes
Cuddy: What's your plan?
House: First, we take Berlin. Then, we circle around Poland and yell: "surprise!"
His name is Sarah. Cats are not named that. Women are. What the Freud is that about?
I'd like to date her, in the sense that I'd like to jump her repeatedly.
Dr. Cuddy: When's the last time you showered?
House: Scent of a man. I realize you haven't experienced it sober.
Patient: You're Dr. House, aren't you?
House: Oh... God! Don't tell me we used to date.
Normally I'd put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth has circled the sun one more time. I really didn't think it was going to make it this year, but darn it if it wasn't the little planet that could all over again.
What am I gonna wear? All my cereal boxes are at the cleaners.
(seeing a photo of a fitness trainer) Wow! Muscles and curves. My penis is so confused.
For God's sake, Wilson. You really span the chasm from wishy to washy.
What better cover than a business trip to Nebraska? Like that's really a place.
Hanna: Can I ask what's wrong with your leg?
House: Crane fell on it. Small world.
Hanna: You could have just said no.
House: I'll remember that for my next human contact.
House: How often do you use your vibrator?
Carmen: Excuse me?!
House: Your battery-operated Brad Pitt.
