Popular Dr. Gregory House Quotes
Stacy: God, you're an idiot.
House: I think I'm more of a jerk.
The truth of the human condition is that everyone lies. The only variable is about what.
House: I diagnosed him, I did my job. You want somebody to tie him down and force him into treatment, well, you're way better at that than I am.
Stacy: Is that what this is? Payback for your leg? How many times have we been over this; I saved your life.
House: I got Mark's latest blood work, he's not responding to treatment.
Dr. Wilson: I'm sorry.
House: I was happy. He's my patient. I'm sure he's a good guy, he's probably a great guy. Probably a much better guy than I am. And some part of me wants him to die. I'm just not sure if it's because I want to be with her or if it's because I want her to suffer.
House: If I wanted gifts, I would just look deep into my patients' eyes and act like you. "Oh, I'm so sorry you're dying, Mrs. Moron. Of course I'll sleep with you. What I lack in skill, I can make up for in..."
Dr. Wilson: You'd just wind up insulting her. Perhaps calling her "Mrs. Moron."
Whitney: We do other stuff in bed. Couldn't some of his sperm have made it up there somehow?
House: More likely, it came from the guy whose penis made it up there somehow, but... sure, anything's possible.
Anna: Jerk.
Dr. Cuddy: Uh, what was that all about?
House: Jamaican chicken recipes.
Dr. Cuddy: You faked a scientific miracle just to win a bet with Wilson?
House: Mmm, more an argument. I realize it would have been simpler to just fake the paternity test, but hey--Christmas spirit and all that.
Dr. Cuddy: I think you're confusing nice and evil again.
Why don't you hang out in the video store and tell everyone Kevin Spacey's Keyser Soze?
Dr. Cuddy: Any idea why we are getting half as many requests for you as usual?
House: Democrats' health care plan?
House: I'm in an elevator, can't run away.
Dr. Cuddy: Can't run away anyway.
House: That's just mean. Why are we still together?
Dr. Cuddy: We are going to our office.
House: Pronoun confusion. Starts kicking in once you pass child-bearing age.
Dr. Cuddy: Now that's just mean.
You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.
