The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Dr. Hibbert Quotes
Without further ado, I give you the man who puts young people behind bars, where they belong, TV's 'Matlock'.
Dr. Hibbert: Well, only one in two million people has what we call the "evil gene". Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and... Freddy Quimby has it.
Lionel Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. I rest my case.
Judge Snyder: You rest your case?
Lionel Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed.
(Dr. Hibbert gives Bart money after retrieving his golf ball.)
Bart: A dollar? What for?
Dr. Hibbert: It's the least I could do. These balls cost five dollars new.
Bart: So I can get a dollar for every ball I find? Then if a cell phone costs $100, how many balls do I need?
Dr. Hibbert: (speaking aside to Dr. Riviera, his caddy) This is why my kids go to private school. (Laughs)
Moe: You gotta make me shorter, Doc.
Dr. Hibbert: (laughs) What do you mean?
Moe: I mean take out bones, guts, whatever you gotta do to make me a micro Moe.
Dr. Hibbert: What your asking is completely unethical. No licensed physician would preform that operation.
(Cut to Dr. Nick about to put the anesthesia mask on Moe)
Dr. Nick: Now close your eyes and when you wake up you will be a woman.
Moe: No, no, no, no, no! I-I wanna be shorter, for a woman.
Dr. Nick: Uh oh. I mixed you up with the last guy.
(A shortened Mr. Largo walks in)
Mr. Largo: (screams) I look nothing like Julie Newmar!
Dr. Hibbert: Homer, you have a mild back sprain. And you also ingested a dangerous quantity of grave dirt.
Homer: Well, you're always telling me I should eat more dirt.
Dr. Hibbert: Not dirt, vegetables!
Homer: Which grow in what?
Tell him it's the "worst prognosis ever!" Hee hee hee.
Dr. Hibbert [about Comic Book Guy]
Hibbert:You may never see a film in 3D again. Hehehe.
Homer: But the storytelling is finally catching up to the technology.
