Why was the word flamboyant on a second grade spelling test at a Catholic school.

Maura: Let's talk about his penis.
Jane: If we must.

Maura: I think we're a match.
Jane: You are not really my type.

May I have one of your hairs with the root ball attached, please?

What are we going to wear? I have never been a high class hooker before.

Why can't we dress like call girls? They look so cute.

Don't be mean because your mattress is still on top of your car.

Maura: I just think it's fun to play fantasy wedding, don't you?
Jane: If you're five.

What a shame to get married in a polyester blend.

Maura: I'm going to make you eat something green tonight.
Jane: OK, I'll get extra pickles on my burger.

Maura: I don't like confrontations.
Jane: That's why you're the good cop.
Maura: Oh, right and you're the beat your face in cop.

Maura: You still have pain?
Jane: No, I just like saying ow.