Popular Dr. Zoidberg Quotes
Hermes: And as a further cost-cutting measure, I have eliminated the salt-water cooler.
Zoidberg: This is a witch hunt!
Leela: Bender, we didn't mind your drinking, or your kleptomania, or your pornography ring.
Zoidberg: In fact, that's why we loved you.
Leela: Oh, god... Not Zapp Brannigan.
Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan?
Leela: Let's just say we crossed paths...
Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him?
Fry: Now just read these cue cards... And action!
Farnsworth: Miss McNeal, I'm afraid I must decline your offer of marriage. For, you see, I'm dying. Cough, then fall over dead.
Zoidberg: My God, he's dead.
Farnsworth checks his pulse
Fry: Y'know, I saw the first 30 seconds of that episode. If I could make up an ending, maybe we could act it out ourselves.
Zoidberg: I could make the costumes.
Farnsworth: I have an old five-megawatt broadcasting tower in the attic.
Bender: And I, I could be an acting coach!
Bender: My tummy hurts and I've been having this burning electrical discharge.
Zoidberg: Hmm. Don't worry, you'll be fine. Oh boy. (quietly) I didn't have the heart to tell him: It's fin fungus. He'll be floating upside-down by morning.
Zoidberg: I'll have a look, but I remind you, I'm an expert on humans not robots.
Fry: I'm not Bender, I'm Fry.
Zoidberg: Really? I thought you were the robot.
Fry: Nope. Human.
Zoidberg: Alright, alright, spare me your life story.
Professor: Then we plunged into a massive worm hole, never to be seen again...
Bender: Yeah we're back!
Hermes: Sweet coincidence of Port Au Prince, we're back at Earth!
Professor: Of course! That was the Panama worm hole, Earth's central channel for shipping.
Dr. Zoidberg: How humorous.
Professor: It's sort of a Comedy Central shipping channel and now we're on it.
Amy: I get it!
Professor: Dr. Zoidberg, can you note the time and declare the patient officially dead?
Dr. Zoidberg: Can I? That's my speciality!
Fry: I'm a robot too?
Dr. Zoidberg: Ah ha! That explains this growth on your drive shaft.
Dr. Zoidberg: Sure, who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere?
Nixon: I say Brannigan!
Zapp: I say no!
Leela: I say me!
Nixon: I say Leela!
Leela: I say yes again!
Fry: I say no!
Zapp: I say I should join her!
Leela: But its only a one man craft... I say...
Zapp: There's only going to be one man.
Fry: Uh, is there a human doctor around?
Zoidberg: Young lady, I'm an expert on humans.
