Favorite Dwight Schrute Quotes
Dwight: I can't believe you came.
Michael: That's what she said.
Five minutes ahead of schedule... Right on schedule.
Those who can't farm, farm celery.
Ryan: Did you see Saw?
Dwight: Of course I seesaw, Mose and I seesaw all the time.
Michael: They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. I say an empty desk means an...
Dwight: Empty mind.
Michael: I was not going to say that.
Angela: The only people that need to be there are you and me.
Dwight: Oh and the old man to feed us the cheese that he's been fermenting since the day of my birth. You keep forgetting about him.
I love escorting people... I put an ad out for an escort service and got A LOT of responses. Mostly creeps. Made a few friends.
Dwight: Chu chu chu chu...
Jim: What are you doing?
Dwight: Vietnam sounds.
Dwight: Don't you want to earn Schrute bucks?
Stanley: No. In fact, I'll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.
Dwight: What's the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
Stanley: The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
Michael: Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight: Movie idea?
Michael: Noooo...Saving the world has never been this hard.
You couldn't handle my undivided attention.
Creed: That is "Northern Lights". Cannabis indica.
Dwight: [sighs] No, it's marijuana.
