The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Edna Krabappel Quotes
Well, class the history of our country has been changed again, to correspond with Bart's answers on yesterday's test. America was now discovered in 1942 by... ''some guy.'' And our country isn't called America any more. It's Bonerland.
Mrs. Krabappel
Bart: My father invented that drink, and if you'll allow me to demonstrate...
Edna: Bart, are those liquor bottles?
Bart: Um...yes
Edna: Take them to the teacher's lounge. You can have what's left after school.
Jasper: What's eatin' you, woman? Your personal ad said you wanted a man. Well, you got yourself a humdinger!
Edna: I don't know. I guess I expected something different from your photo.
Jasper: Don't let my age fool you. Just 'cause it's a little slow on the roof. I've forgotten how the rest of that goes.
Edna: After two months at sea, the pilgrims were running out of food and water. Yes, Nelson?
Nelson: Did they have any yo-yo's?
Edna: No, they did not have yo-yo's. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the friendly Indians.
Milhouse: Did the Indians have yo-yo's!?
Edna: No they did not have yo-yo's! That's it! I am sick and tired of talking about yo-yo's. From now on I won't accept any book report, science project, dioramas, or anything else on yo-yo's, or yo-yo related topics. Am I making myself clear?
Bart: Yo!
Edna: One scratch-n-win, Apu.
Apu: Mrs. Krabappel, I haven't seen you since we doubled our prices. Still teaching?
Edna: Let's see. scratches lottery ticket One more day, at least.
Principal Skinner: Some sick individual has stolen every "Teacher's Edition!"
Teacher: What do we do?
Mrs. Krabappel: Declare a snow day!
Teacher #2: Does anyone know the multiplication table?
Some of you may discover a wonderful vocation you'd never even imagined. Others may find out life isn't fair, in spite of your Masters from Bryn Mawr, you might end up a glorified babysitter to a bunch of dead-eyed fourth graders while your husband runs naked on a beach with your marriage counselor!
Edna: We're going to take a test.
Class: (sighs)
Hoover: We're going to take a test.
Lisa: All right, a test!
Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man half-apelike creature?
Edna: I'm sorry, that would be playing God.
Bart: God shmod! I want my monkey-man!
Troy McClure: That night came the Honeymoon....
Kids: Eeeeeew!
Edna: She's faking it!
Samantha: All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that you're all probably used to...but I'm not.
Edna: It'll take you about six weeks, dear.
Bart: From A-Apple to Z-Zebra, "Baby's First Pop-up Book" is 26 pages of alphabetic adventure!
Edna: Bart, you mean to tell me you read a book intended for preschoolers?
Bart: Well, most of it.
