Favorite Gabrielle Solis Quotes
You screw up our lives and the only thing you can say is "that's the way the cookie crumbles"?
Gabrielle: So just to be clear, some slutty cheerleader gets knocked up by the soccer coach behind the local gas 'n gulp, and she is going to make sure we're quality people?
Carlos: You don't need to answer that.
Gabrielle: You're not going to kill me?
Hector: Hadn't crossed my mind. And if I was, certainly not with a balloon. It would take too long.
Gabrielle: This is stupid. I didn't even want this baby.
Hector: Yeah.
Gabrielle: And I would've been a terrible mother.
Hector: If you say so.
Gabrielle: If it was a boy, I was gonna name it Charlie.
Hector: Yeah?
Gabrielle: And a girl, Aurora.
Hector: Those are nice names.
Gabrielle: Thank you.
Carlos: My mama worked her fingers to the bone for me!
Gabrielle: That's what put her in an early grave! (long pause) Well that and the hit and run thing...
(Gabrielle is showing the young girls how to do the walk for the pageant)
Gabrielle: All right, girls, first things first if you can't walk you can't win, (to Vern): Hit it Vern.
(Vern plays the music, Gabrielle starts a very sexy walk)
Gabrielle(to the girls): Remember, eyes forward shoulders back hips square, look left(turns head left) look right(turns head right) (to the front) whip and walk.
(turns around and walks back, the girls look at her with their jaws dropped)
Gabrielle: Yes, I'm unbelievable close your mouths. (The girls close their mouths)
Carlos: Damn it!
Gabrielle: Whatever it is, I can explain.
Gabrielle: I don't understand. How could you not know you're Mexican? We eat Mexican food all the time!
Juanita: We eat Chinese food, too. Does that mean I'm Chinese?
Carlos: No, that just means your mother hates to cook.
Lynette: (holding a worldmap) There you go, Gaby. It's kinda old. It's from before the Soviet Union broke up.
Gabrielle: The Soviet Union broke up?
Tom: You sure you know what you're doing with this homeschooling thing?
Gabrielle: Oh, honey, Juanita's in first grade. She'll believe what I tell her.
Susan: You fantasize about other men when you're with Carlos?
Gabrielle: Honey, Carlos has been so many different men, I'm actually surprised when I open my eyes and it's Carlos.
Gabrielle: This table is hand carved, Carlos had it imported from Italy. It cost him $22,000.
John: So, you wanna do it on the table this time?
Gabrielle: Absolutely
So you're just not gonna talk to me, is that it? Fine. I don't need to talk. Okay. Yes, I had a little affair. It wasn't the best thing to do, and I'm not proud of it. But it's not the worst thing that could have happened. Nobody died. Oh, don't be such a martyr, Carlos. Okay, it takes two people. How many times did you go off on your little business trips and leave me alone? See, so technically, you cheated, too. It's just your mistress was your work.
