George Costanza Quotes
Jerry: I have to go meet Nina. You want to come to her loft, check out her paintings?
George: I don't get art.
Jerry: There's nothing to get.
George: No, it always has to be explained to me, and then I have to have someone explain the explanation.
Jerry: She does a lot of abstract stuff. In fact she's painting Kramer right now.
Jerry: (picks up Nina's painting George bought) And by the way, can you get this thing outta my house?
George: Tell you what; I'll make a deal with you. I'll sell it to you right now for ten bucks.
Jerry: How are you feeling?
Kramer: Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. (to Elaine) How're you, Carroll?
*later*
George: Hey Kramer.
Kramer: Hi Mike.
George: I was brought up to say "God Bless you."
(Jerry sneezes)
George: Oh, shut up!
Robin: *sneeze*
George: *pauses* God bless you.
Robin: Thank you.
George: (motions to husband) I wasn't going to say anything, but then I could see that he wasn't going to open his mouth. *snorts*
Elaine: Michael called me today, and he asked me where Robin was.
George: Yeah, okay.
Elaine: And I said I hadn't seen her.
George: What?!
Elaine: No, no George! You don't understand! She didn't tell me she was using me as an excuse! Okay?! But then I realized what was going on, and I said that she left a note. Um, but he didn't really buy that. And then, and then he did mention your name.
George: He mentioned my name?! What did he say?!
Elaine: He said he was going to sew your @$$ to your face.
George: Oh, my God. I must be crazy. What have I done?
Robin: Oh no, what's wrong?
George: What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I just committed adultery!
Robin: You didn't commit adultery, I did.
George: Oh, yeah.
Robin: If I didn't do it with you, I would have done it with someone else.
George: Well, I wouldn't want you to do that. You know there's a lot of
losers out there.
Robin: Maybe even someone who didn't say 'God bless you'.
An affair? That's so adult. It's like martinis and stockings and William Holden.
I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.
Michael: You think you're so damn special because you say "God Bless You?"
George: No, I don't. I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.
George: I am speechless. Speechless! I have no speech.
*later*
Elaine: I am speechless! I am without speech.
George: I just got here. My car broke down on the Belt Parkway.
Jerry: Oh, I can't believe-- why don't you get rid of that piece of junk?
George: One mile from the exit, it starts shaking, really violently shaking, like it's having a nervous breakdown, then it completely stopped dead.
Jerry: So, you have no car?
George: No.
Jerry: So, what good are you?
