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Californication

That's just me, an ungrateful heathen, highway to Hell and whatnot.

Don't come back here without a dozen roses and your dick in a box.

I can make fun of Runkle but you can't.

All my life I thought that sort of life was lame, but now I realize the joke was on me.

Hank: Just be careful. young writers on the rise have been known to make certain mistakes.
Becca: Such as?
Hank: Such as sticking their dicks in places kind words and flattery come from.

It helps to have daughters in low places.

You are going to enchant an entire generation of teenage boys with those pound puppies.

Oh I'm sorry. Turns out I'm quite the Fruit Ninja.

That's what happens in a relationship, you stop caring. The next thing you know the sex is sporadic, the blow job's bi-annual and ass play is out of the question.

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