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The-simpsons

Honey, Grandpa is the closest thing I have to a father and I love him, but three octogenocerauses?!?

My lifestyle is my retirement plan.

Homer: Pressure is how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge.
Marge: I don't have any diamonds.
Homer: Quit pressuring me!

If God needs money, why doesn't he just write another Bible. The first one sold pretty well.

Bart: Homer, Will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight?
Homer: And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.

That was the greatest thing I've seen on a computer that I could talk about with you in the room.

If I wanted to pay for commercials I can't skip, I'd sign up for Hulu Plus.

Homer: Wait, you guys saw the new Radioactive man sequel?
Carl: Uh, it's not sequel,it's a reboot.
Lenny: Actually, this one undoes the stuff from the last one, so it's a deboot.

global warming. Huh, by pure coincidence every scientist was right.

Alright, 80s party! Where's the beef? Tear down that wall because I think the beef is behind that wall.

Homer: You like lies? Here's a few: College is expensive but it's worth it.

Homer: I'm sorry, Homer Junior. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.
Bart: Therapy, please.
Lisa: Me too.

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The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!

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