Homer Simpson Quotes (Page 3)
Season 24, Episode 11: "Changing of the Guardian"
Homer: Like all childless couples they troll the beaches waiting for the egg-layers to wander off from their young.
• Rating: Unrated
Homer: Worry-wart Marge. You don't look a Trojan horse in the mouth.
• Rating: Unrated
Homer: What women really want is a guy who's confident enough to go completely downhill after marriage and know she'll still love him.
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Season 24, Episode 10: "A Test Before Trying"
Homer: When I found out shrimp cocktails had no alcohol, I really lost interest.
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Season 24, Episode 9: "Homer Goes to Prep School"
Homer: Listen, I gotta know. You're not just being nice to me because, in a pinch, you could make candles from my fat.
Lloyd: Well, that is a big part of it.
Homer: It's okay. I know what I am.
• Rating: Unrated
Homer: Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Homer: If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Homer: Marge, this is it. TEOTWAWKI.
Marge: The end of the world as we know it?!?
• Rating: Unrated
Homer: I guess despite all our so-called civilization, anarchy lurks around every corner like a racially diverse street gang on a network cop show.
• Rating: Unrated
Bart: Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail?
Homer: I don't know; feed it to the dog.
Bart: You'd have to wrap cheese around it.
Homer: Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog!
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 1485