Raj: Oh, oh, what about the tubby girl in the Sailor Moon costume at Comic-Con?
Howard: Don't remember. Please sit down.
Raj: The only threesome I've ever had in my whole life and I'm proud to say it was with this man right here.
[All laughing]
Raj: Oh, oh, don't get me wrong, nothing happened with me and Howard. There was about 200 lbs of Sailor Moon between us.
Wil [recording on his phone]: Oh, Internet, this is so going all over you.
Sheldon: Jeepers, I'm drunk.

Howard: No ... about my job. I want you to tell me I'm good at what I do.
Sheldon: You're obviously good at what you do.
Howard: Well, then why are you always ripping on me?
Sheldon: Oh, I understand the confusion. I have never said that you are not good at what you do, it's just that what you do is not worth doing.

Bernadette: You're being mean to him.
Howard: He's mean to me all the time. You've heard him tease me about not having a doctorate.
Bernadette: If you don't want to get teased about that, get a doctorate. I have one; they're great.

Sheldon: That's a lot of belt buckles.
Howard: Funny thing is, I only have one belt.

Howard: Let me try gangsta: Hells naw.

Howard: Sheldon, you are a condesending jerk. Why on earth would I want to do something nice for you?
Sheldon: Um ... to go to Jewish heaven?
Howard: Jews don't have heaven.
Sheldon: Then to avoid Jewish hell?
Howard: Have you met my mother? I live in Jewish hell.

Howard: So, I got the craziest email this morning.
Raj: I hate to burst your bubble, dude, but those penile enlargement pills do not work.
Howard: Believe me I know.

Raj: Oh, my goodness. Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever! You got him for me?
Howard: Her. We thought you two would hit it off.
Raj: I think we already have.

Sorry, Stallion. You're weird friend, Giraffe, is here.


Howard: Now, I downloaded an app that might be helpful in this situation.
[whip cracks]
Sheldon: You're right. I'm smart as a whip. I should be able to figure this out.

Look, if you don't want to go to the party, just don't go. You're a grown man. Act like one. Tell Amy you want to spend the weekend having a sleepover and playing video games with your friends!

Leonard: We'll miss you Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, who wants to spend the whole weekend, running around a bunch of pretend planets, battling made up monsters? That's for babies.
Howard: Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
Sheldon: Please, Amy! It's got lightsabers!

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj