Sheldon: I didn't want to teach those poopy heads anyway!
Howard: FYI I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.

Leonard: How do you get an entire lecture hall to flip you off at the same time?
Howard: Apparently if you're Sheldon all you have to do is turn your back.

Howard: Oh I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: I'd like to weigh in here: No.

Nobody cares about your Kegel exercises.

Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side by side mansions. But there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?
Howard: It means that after we play handball I'm showering at home.

Wolowitz: He got bit by a radioactive rat.
Raj: Did he get superpowers?
Wolotiz: No, he got five stitches and a tetanus shot.

Bernadette: So we just sit here and stare at a screen and wait for something to happen?
Wolowitz: I did it with you when we watched The Notebook.

Wolowitz: What kind of spaceship has a hole in the middle?
Raj: A Romulan battle bagel?

Indian Monopoly is just like regular Monopoly, but instead of money you use rupees, instead of building hotels you build call centers, and when you pick a chance card there's a chance you die of dysentery. And just FYI, that was racist.

I'm guessing 21 seconds had something to do with that, too.

Wolowitz: You love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe. And now it's yours.

I just wanna put it out there in case I inadvertently squirt any pheromones in your direction.

TBBT Quotes

The show must go on, and thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.


Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.