Wolowitz: Oh, more details about the new Star Trek film. There's going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth.
Raj: I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock's conception.
Sheldon: Oh, please. For Vulcans, mating—or if you will, pon farr—it's an extremely private matter.
Leonard: Still, I'd like to know the details. His mother was human; his father was Vulcan. They couldn't just conceive.
Wolowitz: Maybe they had to go to a clinic. Can you imagine Spock's dad in a little room with a copy of Pointy Ears and Shapely Rears?

Sheldon: I notice you're using titanium. Did you give any consideration to carbon nanotubes? They're lighter, cheaper, and have twice the tensile strength.
Wolowitz: Sheldon, there is a diploma in my office that says I have a masters in engineering.
Sheldon: And you also have a note from your mother that says, "I love you, bubulah," but neither of those is a cogent argument for titanium over nanotubes

Sheldon: 15 years old. Dennis Kim is 15 years old and he's already correcting my work. Today I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to—you know—that other guy.
Wolowitz: Antonio Salieri.
Sheldon: Oh, God, now even you're smarter than me.

Raj: We need a social catalyst.
Leonard: Like what? We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.
Wolowitz: Or can we...!?

Wolowitz: We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Howard, that's racist. Any fifteen year old girl will do the trick

Wolowitz: I just checked the house. There's probably 20, 25 people in there.
Leonard: You're kidding!
Penny: Is that all?
Leonard: "All?" In particle physics, 25 is Woodstock.

Leonard: Look at the bright side. [Lalita] might turn out to be a nice, beautiful girl.
Raj: Great, then we'll get married, I won't be able to talk to her, and we'll spend the rest of our lives in total silence.
Wolowitz: Worked for my parents

Is it just me, or does webchatting with your clothes on seem a little pointless?

Penny [to Raj about Lalita]: No one can make you get married. Why don't you just meet this girl and see what happens?
Raj: Haven't you been listening to me? I cannot talk to women!
Leonard: Um, Raj?
Wolowitz: No, no, let's see how long it takes him

Leonard: Can't you see that she's using you?
Wolowitz: Who cares? Last night she pulled off her blouse and I wept.
Penny: Look, Howard, I know her, okay. She'll sleep with anyone as long as they keep buying her things.
Wolowitz: Really?
Penny: Yeah.
Wolowitz: Yay

Wolowitz: Oh, by the way, where did you get that loofah mitt? Yours reaches places that mine just won't?
Penny: You used my loofah?
Wolowitz: More precisely, we used your loofah. I exfoliated her brains out!

Check out the sexy nurse. I believe it's time for me to turn my head and cough

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj