Howard Wolowitz Quotes
Leonard: Come on, guys, push!
Howard: If I push any harder I'm gonna give birth to my colon.
Raj: I can't feel my fingers. Hurry up!
Sheldon: It's the same amount of work no matter how fast you goâ€”basic physics.
Raj: Sheldon, if my fingers ever work again, I've got a job for the middle one
- Permalink: Come on, guys, push! If I push any harder I'm gonna give birth...
Raj: Too bad, I called dibs.
Wolowitz: You can't just call dibs.
Raj: I can, and I did. Look up "dibs" in Wikipedia.
Sheldon: Dibs does not apply in a bidding war
- Permalink: Too bad, I called dibs. You can't just call dibs. I can, and...
Wolowitz: Don't you think I should answer the engineering question? I am an engineer.
Sheldon: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal
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[Raj whispers in Wolowitz's ear]
Penny: What did he say?
Wolowitz: He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product one might use on a summer's eve.
Penny: Yeah, and the bag it came in
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Wolowitz: Oh, more details about the new Star Trek film. There's going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth.
Raj: I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock's conception.
Sheldon: Oh, please. For Vulcans, matingâ€”or if you will, pon farrâ€”it's an extremely private matter.
Leonard: Still, I'd like to know the details. His mother was human; his father was Vulcan. They couldn't just conceive.
Wolowitz: Maybe they had to go to a clinic. Can you imagine Spock's dad in a little room with a copy of Pointy Ears and Shapely Rears?
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Sheldon: I notice you're using titanium. Did you give any consideration to carbon nanotubes? They're lighter, cheaper, and have twice the tensile strength.
Wolowitz: Sheldon, there is a diploma in my office that says I have a masters in engineering.
Sheldon: And you also have a note from your mother that says, "I love you, bubulah," but neither of those is a cogent argument for titanium over nanotubes
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Sheldon: 15 years old. Dennis Kim is 15 years old and he's already correcting my work. Today I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart toâ€”you knowâ€”that other guy.
Wolowitz: Antonio Salieri.
Sheldon: Oh, God, now even you're smarter than me.
- Permalink: 15 years old. Dennis Kim is 15 years old and he's already corre...
Raj: We need a social catalyst.
Leonard: Like what? We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.
Wolowitz: Or can we...!?
- Permalink: We need a social catalyst. Like what? We can't get 15-year-old...
Wolowitz: We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys.
Leonard: Howard, that's racist. Any fifteen year old girl will do the trick
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Wolowitz: I just checked the house. There's probably 20, 25 people in there.
Leonard: You're kidding!
Penny: Is that all?
Leonard: "All?" In particle physics, 25 is Woodstock.
- Permalink: I just checked the house. There's probably 20, 25 people in ther...
Leonard: Look at the bright side. [Lalita] might turn out to be a nice, beautiful girl.
Raj: Great, then we'll get married, I won't be able to talk to her, and we'll spend the rest of our lives in total silence.
Wolowitz: Worked for my parents
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Is it just me, or does webchatting with your clothes on seem a little pointless?
- Permalink: Is it just me, or does webchatting with your clothes on seem a l...
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.
- Permalink: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again? Yes, i...