Howard: It's ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these stairs.
Bernadette: Yeah, try doing it in heels.
Howard: I am.

Sheldon: I found three bowling pins. Do you juggle these or are you missing seven?
Howard: Juggle.
Sheldon: You health nuts kill me.

Bernadette: You can't just throw everything in the closet.
Howard: Hey, you can tell what to do or you can tell me how to do it, but you can't do both. This isn't sex.

Howard: Last time I was here, I was a scrawny little nerd.
Leonard: And, now, you're also an astronaut.

Come on. If I was any good at convincing women to do stuff, I wouldn't have spent so much of my 20s in the shower.

Thanks for ruining lobster for me.

I mean ... we can have a pants party. Go put some on.

She hid my Xbox like I'm a child. And, my mom got me that for my birthday so if you don't give it back, I'm telling.

Howard: A micro-valentine for a microbiologist.
Leonard: From her micro-husband.

Howard: Honestly, if I could bend that far what would I need with you.
Bernadette: If you could bend that far, you'd be doing both of us a favor.

If you don't leave now, she'll use food and guilt to keep you there the rest of your life.

Raj: I didn't know you can have a cyst inside a cyst.
Mrs. Wolowitz: The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.