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The-big-bang-theory

Howard: Well, we appear to have reached an impasse. And, you know, I have to say, I thought you'd be more upset that your laptop is sitting on my junk.
Raj: I didn't pick up on that. That's a nice touch.

Howard: Meanwhile, you still don't have a car.
Sheldon: Don't try to change the subject. This is about a parking space. It has nothing to do with cars.

Howard: Do you expect me to build this?
Sheldon: I expect you to wipe the pudding off your chin. Gentlemen.

Howard: Boy, if these walls could talk.
Leonard: They'd say, "Why does he touch himself so much?"
Howard: Yeah.

Howard: So, this one's on God.
Bernadette: That might be a little more convincing if you didn't have a mouth full of bacon cheeseburger.
Howard: My religion's kinda loosey-goosy. Basically, as long as you have your schmekel clipped and don't wear a cross, you're good.

There's the problem. You can't beat Hawking like that. He hates to lose. Everyone knows the guy's a big baby. I mean, forget the wheelchair, he should be in a stroller.

Howard: Two weeks ago I was an astronaut.
Bernadette: Yeah, well, now you're a Smurf. Keep walking.

You know, people say the Soyuz capsule was a lemon. But, hey, that baby got me to space and back.

At least my mother made her boyfriend climb out the window.

Howard: Attention people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.

They left dogs up here in the 60s.

Howard's mother: Speak up!
Howard: From now on she's the only woman who can yell at me!

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 303 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon

Raj: Okay, here's another one: if a zombie bites a vampire, and the vampire bites a human, does the human become a vampire or a zombie? Or, a zompire?

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