Look who's here to put the Jew in jewelry night.

Howard: Can you imagine seeing someone all day long and then you're supposed to hang out with them after work, too?
Raj: Hold on. We do that all the time. You and I work together and play together.
Howard: Yeah, I know, and it drove me into the arms of another woman.

Howard: Wait. Wait. If it wasn't for Indiana Jones, the ark would never have ended up at the warehouse!
Sheldon: (gasps) That's true! He collected and delivered the ark to the proper authorities for filing.
Raj: Like a hero.
All: Yeah! Right! Yes!
Leonard: Although, technically, Indy was supposed to take the ark to a museum to be studied. He couldn't even get that done.
All: Aww.

Sheldon: To the planetarium!
Penny: Let's go!
Leonard: To the Tar Pits!
Bernadette: Let's go!
Amy: There's a Neil Diamond concert next month.
Howard: Let's go!

Howard: No, I am definitely up a cup size.
Raj: You, know, b-but they're very firm, so you've got that going for you.
Howard: You think?
Raj: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very perky.
Howard: Thank you. I really needed to hear that today.

Hey, easy. My nipples are sensitive.

I need you to be honest with me. Do my boobs look bigger to you?

Howard: I feel so stupid. And fat.
Bernadette: That's okay. You still look great to me. In fact, why don't we go in the bedroom and I'll prove it to you?
Howard: Sex? Really? That's just your solution for everything.

Howard: You're full of estrogen and you don't act like that.
Bernadette: That's 'cause I'm a woman. I've had years of practice riding the dragon.

Raj: Why are you on a diet?
Howard: I've put on a couple pounds. I buy these pants in the men's section.
Raj: Well, we've all seen your mom. That Butterball turkey was bound to come home to roost.

Howard: What were they thinking putting Doctor Octopus's mind in Spider-Man's body?
Raj: Well, I've been quite enjoying that. It combines all the superhero fun of Spider-Man with all the body-switching shenanigans of Freaky Friday. Both versions: original and Lohan.
Howard (imitating Raj): "Both versions: original and Lohan."

Howard: There's a party for incoming post-docs tonight. Go to it and meet someone who isn't made of grease or pie.
Raj: You think you're so cool because your wife is a person?

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj