Favorite Jeff Winger Quotes
Abed: If I can find the meaning of Christmas, everything will go back to normal.
Jeff: Asterisk.
That is gonna be the worst book I ever read cover to cover.
Abed: Jeff, I have to make some adjustments to my film, you'll play my father
Jeff: I don't want to be your father
Abed: Perfect, you already know the lines
What is it about me that make broken people flock to me? Is it my height? Do huddled masses mistake me for the statue of liberty?
That's before he started using his name as a pun. It's making me so Changry.
Do you know how long someone who is as sarcastic as I am would last in prison? Suuuuuuch a long time.
Wow. You guys are real downers. I can't believe I made out with both of you.
Jeff: What am I not good at?
Britta: Sex.
Jeff: We've parted ways with our closest, oldest, craziest, most racist, oldest, elderly crazy friend. And he's not coming back.
Pierce: I'm back!
Abed: Everyone be perfectly sincere. Humbugs are attracted to sarcasm.
Jeff: Wow. Somewhere out there Tim Burton just got a boner.
Senor Chang: Pickled bull testicle?
Jeff: Are you offering or collecting?
Britta: You're just doing all this because you want to have sex with me, you don't even want to be my friend
Jeff: Wait a minute. Is that what you thought I meant? Britta, look at me
Britta: I am
Jeff: No, look how handsome my face is. If all I wanted was sex, I could get it from plenty of women without having to go through all this crap. I'm here because I like you and I'd be psyched to be your friend. I just didn't want to take sex off the table without doing my due diligence
