George: Why don't they have salsa on the table?
Jerry: What do you need salsa for?
George: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.
Jerry: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do you have any salsa?" We need more salsa." "Where's the salsa? No salsa?"
George: You know, it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa. "I wanted seltzer, not salsa!"
Jerry: "Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa?! You have the seltzer after the salsa!"

Nice lookin' Luger.

Gavin: Do you have any pets?Jerry: Just a next-door neighbor.

(Kramer sits in front of Jerry's window to see a naked lady)
Jerry: She's not there!
Kramer: Oh, I can wait

George: (working on a crossword) What's a three letter word for candy?Jerry: I could never do those things.

George: If anything happens here can I count on you?
Jerry: What?
George: If we decide to go at it.
Jerry: Yeah, I want to get into a rumble.

I am not an animal!

Attendant: More anything?
Jerry: More everything!

(referring to the car) ThisTHINGhas got to be stopped!

I've been outed, and I was never in!

(reading his note) 'Fax me some halibut.' Is that funny? Is that a joke?

Jerry: Hey, you know, you owe me one.
George: What?
Jerry: The Ink-A-Dink. You were "It"!
George: "It"'s bad?
Jerry: "It's" very bad!

Seinfeld Quotes

Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.

I love the name 'isosceles'. If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.

Kramer