Popular Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
George: Why don't they have salsa on the table?
Jerry: What do you need salsa for?
George: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.
Jerry: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do you have any salsa?" We need more salsa." "Where's the salsa? No salsa?"
George: You know, it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa. "I wanted seltzer, not salsa!"
Jerry: "Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa?! You have the seltzer after the salsa!"
Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Elaine: What did I say?
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.
Kramer: I'm human...
Jerry: In your way.
I like this opera crowd; I feel tough.
Jerry: Kramer, this is Donna.
Kramer: (snaps fingers) Cotton Dockers!
(to Monya) These peas are bursting with country fresh flavor.
Elaine: (on boys giving wedgies, etc.) Boys are sick.
Jerry: What do girls do?
Elaine: We just tease someone 'til they develop an eating disorder!
Elaine: Jerry, do you know what they do to dogs at the pound? They keep them for a week and then if no one claims them, they kill 'em.
Jerry: Really? How late are they open?
Nice lookin' Luger.
Kramer: (points to Jerry) O'Brien, long time no see. (points to George) How's tricks, Murphy?
Tim: Why did you call him O'Brien and him Murphy?
Jerry: No, he was talking to me. He's cross-eyed.
Elaine: It could be very confusing.
(on men) We're like some kind of weird fish where the eyes operate independently of the head.