Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.

I like this opera crowd; I feel tough.

The sad thing is, we'd never know the truth.

Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex.

(to George in a cowboy hat) Sheriff?

George: Look, let's just jump out of the car.
Jerry: We're going sixty miles an hour!
George: So, we jump and roll, you won't get hurt.
Jerry: What are you, Mannix?

(on Kramer's chance of winning the contest) You'll be out before the check comes!

Kramer: What's the matter with you? I just wanted to see how tall she was.
Jerry: Oh, you're tall. She's tall I'm tall. What's the difference who's tall? We're all tall.

Gavin: Do you have any pets?Jerry: Just a next-door neighbor.

Jerry: How can you talk to someone like that?
Joel: What are you saying? What, you like turkey roll?

George: (working on a crossword) What's a three letter word for candy?Jerry: I could never do those things.

Couch grass and cramp bark? You know, I think that's what killed Curly.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 496 in total

Seinfeld Quotes

Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.

George: I'm sorry. I can't live knowing that Ted Danson makes that much more than me. Who's he?
Jerry: He's somebody!
George: What about me?
Jerry: You're nobody.
George: Why him? Why not me?
Jerry: He's good, you're not.
George: I'm better than him!
Jerry: You're worse! Much much worse.

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