I am not an animal!

I mean, really, what is the big deal? We go in there. We're in there for a while. We come right back out here. It's not complicated!

Attendant: More anything?
Jerry: More everything!

(referring to the car) ThisTHINGhas got to be stopped!

I've been outed, and I was never in!

I'm not saying anything, I'm putting it in the vault, I'm locking the vault. It's a vault!

Elaine: Come on. Let's go do something. I don't want to just sit around here. Wanna get something to eat?
Jerry: Where?
Elaine: I don't care. I'm not hungry.
Jerry: We could go to one of those cappuccino places. They let you just sit there.
Elaine: What are we gonna do there, talk?
Jerry: We can talk.
Elaine: I'll go if I don't have to talk.
Jerry: Then we'll just sit there.

I don't return fruit. Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in.

The hot water takes a little while to come on. So, the best thing to do is to turn it on, do all your shopping, you come back and take a shower.

Kramer: Hey, do me a favor...Some guy comes in looking for me, tell him you don't know where I am.
Jerry: Of course, I always do.
Kramer: No, no it's that guy. He's really been bugging me about the jacket.
Elaine: Just give it back to him.
Kramer: Oh, he'll have to kill me.

Tia: Excuse me; I think you're in my seat.
Jerry: Oh, sorry. My mistake. (to himself) Thank you!

Jerry: How'd you do on the IQ test?George: (irate) 85!

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Seinfeld Quotes

Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Jerry: Svengali.
Elaine: What did I say?
Jerry: Svenjolly.
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
Jerry: George?
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.

I love the name 'isosceles'. If I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.

Kramer