Jerry: This is your plan?
George: No, no. I'm just thinking.
Jerry: I don't think you are.

George: People think that I'm smart, but I'm not smart.Jerry: Who thinks that you're smart?

George: What should I do, Kramer?Jerry: Well for one thing, don't listen to him.

George: Look, let's just jump out of the car.
Jerry: We're going sixty miles an hour!
George: So, we jump and roll, you won't get hurt.
Jerry: What are you, Mannix?

Jerry: (about Elaine's birthday) What did you end up getting her?
George: (irritated) $91.
Jerry: Yeah, sorry about that.

I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony. Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense.. am I wrong?

Elaine: Hi Pamela, you remember Jerry.
Pamela: Yes, we met.
Jerry: Hi, happy birthday.
Pamela: Ahh, everybody, this is Elaine and Jerry.
Guests: Hi!
Jerry: I didn't bring anything.

Jerry: The big toe, the captain!Kramer: What?Jerry: The captain of the toes!

She's a Nazi, George. A Nazi!

I heard something...

Vandelay Industries. Kal Varnsen speaking. How may I help you?

Roxanne: The marathon is great, isn't it?Jerry: Yes, particularly if you're not in it.