Popular Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
Jerry: It still smells.
George: How could it still smell after all that?
Jerry: I don't know.
George: Well, what are you gonna do?
Jerry: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, I'm selling that car.
George: You're selling the car?
Jerry: You don't understand what I'm up against. This is a force more powerful than anything you can imagine! Even Superman would be helpless against this kind of stench! And I'll take anything I can get for it.
George: Maybe I'll buy it.
Jerry: Are you crazy? Don't you understand what I'm saying to you? This isn't just an odor! You need a priest to get rid of this thing!
(Elaine comes in)
Elaine: I still smell.
Jerry: You see? You see what I'm saying to you? It's a presence! It's the beast!
All right, Costanza. It's just you and me.
Jerry: How are you feeling?
Kramer: Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. (to Elaine) How're you, Carroll?
George: Hey Kramer.
Kramer: Hi Mike.
Dick: So, you're Jerry.
Jerry: So, I'm Jerry.
Elaine: And what about the pony huh? What kind of abnormal animal is that?
Jerry: They're like big riding dogs.
I was audited last year. At first I thought well, IRS kinda sounds like Toys 'R Us maybe won't be so bad.
Jerry: Art Core?
George: I just got here. My car broke down on the Belt Parkway.
Jerry: Oh, I can't believe-- why don't you get rid of that piece of junk?
George: One mile from the exit, it starts shaking, really violently shaking, like it's having a nervous breakdown, then it completely stopped dead.
Jerry: So, you have no car?
Jerry: So, what good are you?
Two bedrooms? Why do I need two bedrooms? I got enough trouble maintaining activity in one.
(to George in a cowboy hat) Sheriff?
Gina: Come, you walk me to a cab.
Jerry: Well, uh, I uh, I don't want you to get upset or anything but uh, with Martin and all, well maybe it's not such a good idea for us to be seen together in the building, because, you know, he had a lot of friends here.
Gina: You're still afraid. You are not a man.
Jerry: Well then what are all those ties and sport jackets doing in my closet?
Great. Two hundred seats on a plane, and I gotta get stuck next to Yukon Jack and his dog, Kujo!