Popular Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
There's too much urinary freedom in this society.
Elaine: And now you're being audited for it. See, that's Karma.
Jerry: No, that's Kramer.
That is one magic loogey!
George: Two tickets to "Guys And Dolls"! I'm gonna go with you!
Jerry: "Guys And Dolls"? Isn't that a lavish, Broadway musical?
George: It's "Guys And Dolls," not "Guys And Guys."
It's not like a Sonny Von Bulow coma.
(Jerry and Nina are watching TV)
Jerry: Don't go in there, you're gonna get shot.
(Gunshot on TV)
Jerry: I told you.
Jerry: But the question is, are you still master of your domain?
Elaine: I'm queen of the castle.
The problem with the mall garage is that everything looks the same. They try to differeriate between levels. They put up different colors, different numbers, different letters. What they need to do is name the levels, like, "Your mother's a whore." You would remember that.
Jack: What happened to you?Jerry: I got in a fist fight with one of the ladies at the pool.Helen: It's from scuba diving.Jack: What's there to see underwater?
All right, Costanza. It's just you and me.
Y'know I think that even if you've had a relationship with someone, or let's say, especially if you've had a relationship with someone and you try to become friends afterwards, it's very difficult. Isn't this? It's hard. Because, you know each other so well, you know all of each others tricks. It's like two magicians, trying to entertain each other. The one goes, "Look, a rabbit". The other goes, "So? ... I believe this is your card".
"Look, why don't we just saw each other in half and call it a night? Okay?"
Elaine: Hey, where's Kramer?
Jerry: I don't know. That's like asking: where's Waldo?