George: Well, what do they look like?
Jerry: Like keys, George. They look like keys. They look exactly like keys... What do they look like...

Oh... a matador... Uno Momento Por Favor.

(to George) You're wearing the chocolate shirt!

Jerry: How about this: You put your car in the good spot. That'll hold the good spot in front of the good building and we can get the good car!
George: Good thinking.
Jerry: (shaking George's hand) Good to meet you.

Kramer (Kessler): You got any meat?
Jerry: Meat? I don't, I don't know, go hunt!

George: Look, do I have to break up with her in person? Can't I do it over the phone? I have no stomach for these things.
Jerry: You should just do it like a band-aid: one motion, right off!

(in a condescending tone) And you want to be my latex salesman?


(referring to the car) ThisTHINGhas got to be stopped!

George: I can't believe what's happening here. She hasn't taken her hands off me all night. She was always friendly around the office, but that was it!
Jerry: How do you account for this?
George: Maybe a safe fell on her head.

You see? Never be late for a plane with a girl. Because a girl runs like a girl, with the little steps and the arms flailing out. You wanna make this plane, you've gotta run like a man! Get your knees up!

Roy: Don't mind her.Jerry: Oh please, I love her.George: I've just met her, but I'm very impressed.

All right, Costanza. It's just you and me.

Seinfeld Quotes

The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since one-hour martinizing.


I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate. I've got it all!