Jim Halpert Quotes
Jim: What happened to you?
Michael: Captain Jack has a problem with authority.
Jim: Oh, right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking.
Michael: He just totally lost it. If you ask me he caused the panic.
Pam: Getting kinda rowdy down there.
Jim: Yeah. Darryl, Darryl, Darryl.
Pam: Sometimes I just don't get Roy.
Jim: Well...
Pam: Well, I mean, I don't know. So... What's it like dating a cheerleader?
Jim: Oh... um....
Pam: I'm cold.
Michael: Who's seen Titanic?
Jim: I'm not really sure what movie you're talking about. Are you sure you've got the title right?
Pam: I think you're thinking of The Hunt for Red October.
Ryan: Hey, is Katy coming?
Jim: I have not really talked to her lately.
Ryan: Do you mind if I give her a call?
Jim: We can talk about that later.
My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. He is very real.
Jim
Pam: Michael and Jan definitely made out, maybe more.
Jim: Oh, yelch. Oh! Also, it is Thursday, but Dwight thinks it's Friday. So, keep that going.
Pam: Yay!
Today is Thursday, but Dwight thinks that it's Friday. Aaaand, that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.
Jim
Dwight: Oh, hey. Listen, Jim. Here's a little tip for your performance review.
Jim: Okay.
Dwight: Tell Michael that we should be stocking more of the double-tabbed manila file folders.
Jim: We don't have double-tabbed manila file folders.
Dwight: Oh yes we do.
Jim: No we don't.
Dwight: Yeah, it's a new product. So you should just suggest that to him, and then he'll be sure to give you a raise.
Jim: All right. Well, I'm not asking for a raise. I'm going to actually be asking for a pay decrease.
Dwight: Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?
Jim: Then I win.
J - Jim I - Is Jim M - My Name Is Jim.
Jim
Dwight: This ab workout is specifically designed to strengthen your core. Sorry.
Jim: It's all right.
Dwight: Numerous health benefits: strengthens your back, better performance at sports, more enjoyable sex.
Jim: You're not having sex.
Dwight: [sitting on a giant rubber ball] You should get one of these.
Jim: No, thank you.
Dwight: Do you even know what this is? It is a fitness orb, and it has completely changed my life. Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.
Jim: Done.
Jim: Do we all have a copy of "Threat Level: Midnight" by Michael Scott?
