Jim Halpert Quotes
They might not have to downsize our branch. And I could work here for years... and years... and... years.
Jim
Michael: C'mon, hit me...
Jim: I can't. I just got a manicure.
Michael: Oh, queer! [looks at camera] ...eye. Queer eye! Good show, important show.
The Albany Branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing, but Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour so that we all could go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight.
Jim
Pam: Fargo, um, Edward Scissorhands, Dazed and Confused...
Jim: Ooh, definitely in my top five.
Pam: Yes - in my top three, so suck it.
Jim: I think that's H-O-R for Stanley, and H-O for Phyllis.
Phyllis: Are you calling me a ho?
Jim: Oh my God. Phyllis coming alive! I like it.
Jim: Phyllis by a nose! Gold medal in Flernuntin.
Pam: Flonkerton.
Jim: Thank you, delegate from Iceland.
What has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy!
Jim
Michael: Attention everyone, hello! Yes, I just want you to know that this is not my decision but from here on out, we can no longer be friends. And when we talk about things here, we must only discuss work associated things. And uh, you can consider this my retirement from comedy. And in the future if I want to say something funny, or witty, or do an impression I will no longer, ever, do any of those things.
Jim: Does that include "That's what she said?"
Michael: Mmm hmm, yes.
Jim: Wow. That is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling.
Michael: That's what she said!
Jim: I think those might be empty.
Pam: No, no, 'cuz the ice melts, and then it's like second drink.
Roy: Well, what is your type?
Jim: ... Moms, primarily. Yup. Soccer moms. Single moms. Nascar moms. Any type of mom really.
Kevin: Stay away from my mom...
Jim: Too late, Kev.
Michael: Hey Pam, how would you like to be our cheerleader today? You know, some uh pigtails, little ah, halter top you could tie that up. And, you know, some little, just youthful for a change, just this once.
Pam: I don't think so Michael. Besides, I can't cheer against my fiancé.
Jim: I'll do it. Wear a little flouncy skirt if you want, and ...
Michael: Yeah i bet you would, just try not to be too gay on the court. And by gay I mean, um, you know not in a homosexual way at all. I mean the uh, you know, like the bad at sports way. I think that goes without saying.
Dwight: So, we need someone to work this Saturday and I think that that should be... Jim.
Jim: God this is so sad. I think this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to somebody's head.
