Lisa: Why does someone become a bully?
Jimbo: Neglect.
Dolph: Abuse.
Kearney: I'm a Cubs fan.

Ned: Now let us download the holy tweet of the Lord.
Agnes: Stop making this relatable!
Jimbo: Hey, as a youth if I don't hear a computer word every couple sentences, I am out of here.

Nelson: What's in the bag, wuss? (grabs it from Bart) Oh, look, Campers Pampers.
(Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney appear, and they start to play "Keep Away.")
Bart: Yeah, whatever. (walks away)
Jimbo: Uh You better pretend you want your uniform back, twerp!
(The bullies begin to play "Keep Away" again.)
Bart: Oh, no. Woe is me. My precious uniform.

Jimbo: If I wrote down everything you told me to write down, I'd have no time for punching.
Dolph: Whoa, you should write that down, man.

Jimbo: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second grade babies.
Bart: Why would I want to?
Jimbo: Because I said "I dare you." Kearney, can you read it back?
Kearney: (reading) "Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second-grade babies. Bart: Why would I want to? Jimbo: Because I said 'I dare you.' Kearney, can you read it back? Kearney, reading: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to--"
Jimbo: The point is, Simpson, a dare has been placed on your nards.
Bart: My nards accept.

Jimbo: You let me down, man! Now I don't believe in nothin'! I'm goin' to law school!
Homer: NOOOOOOOO!!!

Jimbo: No matter how dead their relationship seems, all parents eventually commit the heinous acting of love.
Kearney: Mine do it once a year on the magical day when the prison and the insane asylum have their annual mixer.

Nelson: Imagine...a school out there with no bullies.
Jimbo: Science geeks not getting beat up. Kids using their lunch money for food.
Nelson: I can't take it!

James Woods: Okay you're you, I'm me.
Jimbo: I'm me!?
James Woods: Hey don't...jerk me around, fella.

Nelson: My old man can't get a beer because his old man won't give a bear to another old man! Let's get him!
Jimbo: Wait, why are we getting him?
Martin: Look, fellows. The first snapdragon of the season.
Nelson: Nevermind. Let's get him!

(Mayor Quimby address the comic book convention.)
Mayor Quimby: You might say I feel like....Radiation Man!
Jimbo: That's Radioactive Man, jerk!

Lisa: Whales are mammals and are deeply intelligent and sensitive like us.
Jimbo [to whale]: Haha, nerd.

The Simpsons Quotes

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!