Favorite Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Ross: (Mumbling due to swollen tongue) Thumrthel, thubrthel thbhrth!
Chandler: (To Joey) You understood that?
Joey: My uncle had a really big tongue.
Chandler: Is he the one with the really beautiful wife?
Chandler: (On pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes, I do realize that would be a very stupid character.
(Hands phone to Joey)
Joey: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. (Hands the phone back to Chandler) He wants to talk to you again.
Joey: Hey, hey. How was the first day?
Phoebe: Oh, excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. Me.
Phoebe: No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you.
Chandler: Why not?
Phoebe: Oh, because, you know... they don't like you.
Chandler: What?!
Phoebe: I thought you knew that.
Chandler: No-ho. Who doesn't they like me?
Phoebe: Everyone. Except for uh... no everyone.
Chandler: How about Joey Paponi?
Joey: No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Chandler: Joey Switzerland?
Phoebe: (About Ross kissing Julie outside the window) Ooh, Rachel, don't look.
Rachel: What? (Looks) Come on you guys, I don't care, I have a date tonight.
Joey: Woah, you have a date?
Rachel: Yeah, Monica's setting me up.
Joey: But, what about, Ross and uh...?
Rachel: Oh what, my whole insane jealousy thing? Well, you know, as much fun as that was, I've decided to opt for sanity.
Chandler: So you really okay about all this?
Rachel: Oh yeah, come on. I'm moving on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing.
Phoebe: We found her. We found the girl.
Joey: Did you call the cops?
Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.
Chandler: Oh, your own brand of vigilante justice?
Joey: Phoebe, what do you think a good stage name for me would be?
Phoebe: Flame Boy.
Ross: I get home, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, "Oh my God, what the hell am I doing?" I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Joey: You got all that from saline solution?
Monica: (Reading the paper) There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me.
Joey: Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
Monica: There's an ad for a naked chef?
Joey: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... (Rubs his hands together suggestively)
Rachel: Ross kissed me.
Phoebe: No!
Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!
Rachel: It's unbelievable.
Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!
Phoebe: Ok, alright we wanna hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. Rachel, does this end well or do we need tissues?
Rachel: Ohhh it ended very well.
Monica: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!!
Phoebe: Alright, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like...was it like, a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, y'know, "I gotta have you now" kinda thing?
Rachel: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know, and then...oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it...
Phoebe: Ohh, so, ok, was he like holding you or were is hands like, on your back?
Rachel: No, actually first they were--they started out on my waist... and then they slid up, and then they were in my hair...
Phoebe & Monica: Ohhh...
(Scene changes from the girls' apartment to the guys' in which they are eating pizza around the foosball table)
Ross: And then I, and then I kissed her.
Joey: Tongue?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Cool.
Joey: Ross, listen. I got two words for you: Threesome.
Chandler: You still got one word left if you want to use it.
Joey: (While giving out Christmas presents to the group) ...and for Ross, Mr. Sweet Tooth.
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Chandler: And a lemon-lime!
Ross: Well, this is too much. I feel like I should get you another sweater.
