Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Joey: You're smoking again?!
Chandler: Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm, I'm smoking still.
Joey: Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples could cut glass over here.
Phoebe: Really? Mine get me out of tickets!
Joey: Can I see the comics?
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Joey: Sorry! May I have the comics.
Joey: (To Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
Monica: Why? Do you think he's still mad at us?
Chandler: (To Joey) Well, he's probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Joey: What? Mine aren't tinted.
Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?
Phoebe: (About Ross and Rachel) They've been quiet for a long time.
Joey: Maybe she killed him.
Ross: (About telling Rachel that he slept with another woman) What is she gonna say when I tell her what I did?
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Ross: What?! Look, we're trying to rebuild a relationship here, right? How am I supposed to do that without being totally honest with each other?
Joey: Look, Ross, look, I'm on board about this totally honesty thing. I am just not about stuff that's gonna get you in trouble.
Chandler: He's right. Nobody's gonna benefit, and you're just gonna hurt her.
Joey: Yeah, and there won't be a relationship left to rebuild.
Ross: Yeah, but don't you think...
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.
Joey: So what are you gonna do?
Ross: What can I do? One person wants to break up, you break up.
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys. Call her and work it out.
Ross: Oh come on. We just had this huge fight, all right? Don't I have to wait a while?
Chandler: Hey, this isn't like swimming after you eat, pick up the phone!! (Ross goes to call her)
Chandler: You know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
Joey: Yeah, Tell that to my Uncle Lenny.
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Joey: Nothing, he just really believes in that.
Chandler: Hey, you know what? Maybe we should get going. I mean what time did Chloe say we should be there?
Joey: Uh, 10:30.
Chandler: What time is it now?
Joey: 4:30.
Chandler: Yeah all right, so we'll hang out.
Joey: It was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dad's cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner...
Monica: You gave her food poisoning?!
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Phoebe: Oh, my God! You threw Pepper on the fire!
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably should have told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a, ah, artificial leg.
Monica: Oh, my God! Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?
Joey: I ran!
Joey: Since when do you roller blade?
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like, you know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so, you know, we made a deal that's he's going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
Phoebe: I'm going to let him.
Joey: Are you just getting home? It's late.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the best day, though. I got to sit in on a meeting with the reps from Calvin Klein, I told my boss I liked this new line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it . . . how was your day?
Joey: I discovered I'm able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue.
